Maiden Musings: November 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Lingerie...

P.s. read the purpose of my blog before bashing me (if you hate this post). Its about me not anyone and doesn't serve the purpose of making you feel like you should jump in a well! Much LOVE and MWUAHS!!!

I always dream of raiding Victoria Secret after getting engaged (still very much for the abstinence until marriage). I go there every now and then but not to 'raid' the place. Walking up to a store assistant and say "I'm an engaged virgin who wants 'bulk-pack of twelve' lingerie for her honeymoon." I can imagine. Loool!!!!! That's kinda wierd.

The story: I went to the mall a while ago and my friend and I passed a sexy underwear section of some store (not VS though).

She said "Oh I wish I had a boyfriend so I'll buy underwear!"

I said "Sorry my boo doesn't even get anything thing." (Boo shouldn't be a motivation for my purchase)

Finally when we got to Victorias' Secret store and

I was like, "I don't need to get anything there now. I can't wait to 'raid' this store when I'm engaged." (Note I said 'raid' oh! As in bulk purchase)

She said "You need to go there BEFORE so you can actually get the engagement."

I said "And what if after spending money, sharing the goodies, I don't get an engagement ring?"
I was quite pissed that her mind was so jaded. She has friends who are single teenage mums, a few with AIDs (like most girls at her high school aren't in college) and others got married as teens. Not to judge her, but I couldn't believe after her experiences, she would be reasoning like that.

So I'm not marriage material until sex comes in? I can't be proposed to with because of personality, intelligence, cooking skills (lol!), hardwork, honesty, being caring, beauty, ...
I watched the latest Two/Three Can Play that game (seen that movie?) and it was interesting but nothing I believed work in reality. Won't talk about the movie just see it for yourself.

Sex= Love (For me, personally, love translates some strong long lasting relationship like marriage) so its your choice right?

I love a little mystery (Maiden's secrets!!!)

So is VS the only way to get hitched? What happens when 'something' happens and you can't rock the VS. (Even 27yr old, Adrianna Lima, Victoria Secrets' model is a virgin and claims to be waiting. )

(re-modified) Of course, I'll buy VS for myself but I meant I'm not very compelled to as fruit-of-the loom and marks&spencer underwear is good enough. My best friend promised me VS for my birthday so I'm waiting for her. Ya get?

So I need y'alls opinion, Is sexy lingerie the only way to get a guy committed to the relationship?

My friend L, I still love you girl but seriously!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Final Update: Break up!

My break up series has come to an end. I think my boyfriend is fabulous!

Example: He was wondering why I wasn't replying his texts while I was like "why isn't he texting me?" Network/ cell phone issues, My phone hasn't gotten/received any international texts and when I send them, they don't get to the recipient. AT&T has really been messing up!

I'm now broke and he's been doing the calling.

He really stepped up his game. Actually he's no longer broke and has been calling me A LOT more often as in I'm full of smiles. We chat (I mean long chat) more than before so I can now study in peace without getting upset over him. Keep reciprocating dude!!!

I'll make a few vows on blogville on what my next actions in the next weeks will be.

I vow to NOT stalk/ check his Facebook page everyday. Instead every few days. Lol!

I vow to TRY not to call him everyday. Alternate calling and texting. I don't want to get too attached to someone far away.

I vow to REDUCE the amount of money I spend on him. I promised MissLove and I shopping therapy so gingers crossed, I'll try to lower the calling cards $$$ from $5-15 to $3-5 (Progress huh?)

I vow to be understanding by being a more matured girlfriend. He's going through a lot so I'll bring more positive energy when I call him. When he's done, I'll pump him with my problems.

I will work on my temper. See a shrink maybe. I have the tendency to overreact, breakdown and cry or something depressing like that when something trivial happens.

I VOW TO FOCUS ON MY REAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY, READ MY BOOKS. Stick to priorities.

AND PRAY. Prayer is the key right? God, please help me get myself together!

Hopefully this hould be the last of my current rantings on my relationship.

XOXO

Friday, November 14, 2008

Update 2: Breakup!

Second update from previous posts:
http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/11/update-break-up.html
http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/11/breaking-up.html
So we finally got to chat for an hour; the cheapest conversation I've had with him in weeks. Its easier for me to call him because I get to work and earn a few extra $$$ and My phone card plans are cheaper than his (did I ever tell y'all he's in 9ja?) Makes sense where the problems come from now huh?

I became the culprit. The bad one! He said I had been self centered and only thought of what I wanted and needed when I called him without caring if I hurt him or not. At least I was the one calling him. He apologised but I don't know if he'll change.

I'm scared of letting him know when I'm hurt now.

He is going through personal family issues (like serious ones I need to be there for him or be understaning. If i screw up once he'll never forgive me type of issues). He wants me to be understanding but for HOW long? I'm not 24yrs for goodness sake. I try but it doesn't mean I don't need him sometimes.

All I want communication that's all. He can't give as much as I want. I can afford the phone call-text relationship but, I ain't his sugamama. What do y'all think? I hate making efforts that are not reciprocated. I try not to call him unless he calls me but he doesn't do it frequently.

But of course I miss him and end up calling. $5-$15 a week on just him. If we break up, he better pay the debit card damages.

He is in a 'serious' relationship and I'm beginning to act like him taking us so seriously and he's slacking now so I look like the clingy one when earlier he couldn't do without talking to me multiple times a day. He made me get used to something and couldn't keep up.

Time heals but I hate the fact that it comes with tears. If I didn't like him anymore, it'll be so easy. If I only were more mature?

But maybe this wahala is me not him. Or him not me!

Sucks!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Update: Break up!

So I called him.

He didn't think anything went wrong. He had switched off his phone because someone had been disturbing him with text messages I thought he was angry I hung up but he was dead sleepy (it was like 12am). He was also online for five minutes to 'get' something (hmmm) thats why he changed his facebook profile but didn't see the need to call me and chat 'cause he had to be home. I still wish he called me to say he couldn't make it (even though he only told me he'll call me if he could).

Imagine? I'm either crazy overeacting or something. After I cried like a pro-mourner. Lol!

I'll work on fixing my tendency to misinterpret things and jump straight into frustration.

Our conversation was fun (like I didn't call him with a purpose) but I made sure I told him why I called. It wasn't as deep as I wanted it to be but it helped a bit. Miscommunication is a beeyatch.

Boo has been going through a lot of stuff he doesn't really want to tell me about. I know a few, (family issues and more) but he promises that with time, I'll understand why it seems like he's not making an effort. He asked for time oh!

I told him I hated feeling like the clingy one since I called him more than he called me. He said he didn't think I was clingy but still sha, though I'm a feminist, I believe he wears the pants and I the skirt so.....

@Yankee Naija Babe, I'll forward your tips on long distance dating to him maybe in some weeks time.

I forgot to add that he didn't say sorry. He didn't think he did anything wrong but I text him to say I wish he said he didn't want to hurt me intentionally (he always apologizes but still,...)

After I text him (which I just did), I'll call him to wish him a great week. Then, I'll pretend I have more homework and term papers to keep my mind off him.

Conclusion: I'll call him less. It's even not economic to be calling every second since we're not engaged or married. I even work and extra job to fund my paycards (not my parents money. Lol!) but I could use that money for some retail therapy so I'll cut down on my effort so he'll step up.

I pray he gets over all the issues soon. I want my boo back!

Long distance relationships are crazy huh? Still good and bad to it but Thank God for his mercies.

THANK GOD FOR BLOGVILLE!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!! KISSES AND HUGS FOR THE LOVE AND CONCERN.

P.s. we didn't break up. Its just circumstances but were are working on fixing them and we're young so I'm trying to be optimistic now but I'm not really. :)

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Breaking up!

I told y'all I always feel like breaking up with boo even though we seem perfect its 6 days a week of being wonderful and that one day. My old posts on him: http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/09/guy.html
http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-boopda.html

I'll tell him to call me when he's online so we can chat being cheaper than calling since we love to talk for hours. He'll be online and not call. Then I see he's even changed his facebook profile.
Or he won't call when he can't make it. I just sign out and do my school work and pretend like it never happened. Or I'll ask him about it and honestly, I can't remember any of his responses.

Or he'll remember he had to go to church or see someone or run an errand for his mum. I really trust him. At least he begs me to and I try.

It's like standing up someone, not showing up to a date, hanging up the phone on someone you say you care about.

He has been doing this since the first time we were together, when we broke up and now we're back together. I left him the first time because of this. We made up months after with him promising it will be different this time.

I know he cares about me but why would he keep doing something he knows I hate and upsets me very much. I hung up on him now but when I tried calling either his battery died and he fell asleep or he switched off. Even if I did something wrong by hanging up, he hurt me and I never hurt him. If I was a guy, I promise you, I will be to-die-for because I really try for boo.

He always says he'll never hurt me, never wants to hurt me and is scared of hurting me. (Did i just make sense?)

My eyes are red and sore, I'm crying and I HATE this. I really wish I didn't like any one its annoying. If I leave him, I'll feel even worse (been there done that) because the moment he claims he's changed I'll go back to him.

We'll probably make up and next week I'll be posting about how awesome our relationship is (I already did a post on Love! Lol!).. I don't know.

Maybe I'm overreacting. There's a lot of good to this guy but THIS is what ticks me off.

I'm currently still trying to call him but its not going through and its 1am in his time zone. My eyes are still sore. I'm gonna eat pizza now, then ice-cream. If I drank, I would have been gone by now.

I want to like text break up or send a miserable message but I don't want him to react the wrong way.

What should I do?