L-word Update...I'm in LOVE with

Blogville is my love oh! I decided to do this post as a response to some of the comments I got from the last post on Love and its definition. I'm not eager for boo to say he loves me neither do I think I'm in love with him talk less of saying what other 'small-girls' have said to him. A blogger once commented saying that I was in love hence the motivation to post on the dilemma surrounding the L-word.

My response to most of the comments is in bold. Feel free to continue commenting.

Riri said...
aww,,the L word shall come when the time is right! and you're right people just say they love other people just to feel mature its all lust..lolxx

Yea, its lust I guess. Whenever the time is right

doll said...
any guy that says I luv u within 6 months of meeting me/ dating me is disqualified….d longer it takes 2 say it d surer I am, that u mean it wen u say it…so savor d anticipation of d moment

We've been dating for over a year. I'm not even ready for it. The right time, please,better not be now. I have a degree to complete.

soul child said...
don't worry he would say it...as long as he cares about u and is not messing up...saying i love u is not just an obligation ..ppl think because their in a relationship..they have to say it even if they dont mean it...the L word is losing its authenticity...

Like I said in my post, I was wondering why I wasn't rushing to say I loved him when his girlfriend (when he was 17-18 years) and she was like 16 told him she loved him and here I am. He's now over 21 and I'm not feeling love like his teenage ex.

aloted said...
Hmm...gosh this post just brought back some teenage "He loves me, he loves me not" memories! Ok first of all I don’t blame him for not saying the L word immediately because that word has been debased in some many ways. At the same time I don’t expect him to rub it in your face that “I wont be saying the L word any time soon so don’t hold your breath”. I want to believe he is not doing that. My definition of love can be found in 1cor 13. Love can reveal itself in different forms but the foundation from 1cor 13: 4-8 should be there.Actions surely speaks louder than words, so as long as his actions are showing he loves and respects u...don’t sweat it...the words will come later. The L word should come without fear...There is no fear in love.Also did u say you were under 21...you are still very young so take your time in this love matter cuz u still have many many more years to love. Guard your heart. Make friends, face your studies and have hobbies and be close to God. I am glad both of you are keeping yourselves till you get married…that way if it does not work out all is not lost.Question for you- if he says I love u today (I also don’t recommend u saying it first) would u be able to say I love u too back to him. Ok this comment is becoming very long…..God bless!

God Bless you madam Aloted. The post was more of a question. I stated how i felt about him, many of my friends would just say "you love him," but I won't admit it (I can't believe now is the time for love). I just wanted someone to tell me that my opinion was right that I could really care about someone, share the same beliefs as them, be their friend and NOT love them (except girlfriends and family).

I have a huge head on my body so school comes first, If i didn't care about him so much, I'd rather we weren't dating until I finished with school. He's mature and very responsible, and a great friend. Love can wait.

He wasn't really rubbing it in my face that was like 3yrs ago we weren't a serious couple. He was explaining that he won't throw the word at me or anyone because Love is what you feel for only one person. I was fresh outta secondary school then and I'm actually happy he told me that.

If he tells me he loves me, I wouldn't say it back 'now.'

Funms-the rebirth said...
Aloted has said everything........ I'm sure when hes ready, he'll say it.... don't stress about it... enjoy what u guys r sharing now

I'm enjoying what we have which is puppy love. Sha, I'm not anxious. Dude should just wait until I graduate/ get a life so I don't quit school now because Love is shacking me.

Teeee said...
I agree with you that love is a feeling but it also stands the test of time. Furthermore, love is natural -maybe you're relationship still has to grow. Are you sure he said it and you weren't listening?

Teeee, na wa oh! No he didn't say it. When we first took a break he said he thought he was in love with someone (fit the puzzle he meant me) but our relationship is still growing so I hope he didn't say it.

Beyond said...
I think love is more about the feeling n action rather than the word of the mouth. I will prefer a say say the L-word when he actually means it rather than saying it cos that's what he's expected or suppose to say...Have a great weekend.

At least if there's a teeny bit of love in me, I won't screw up by admitting or even saying it even if he's said it already. I also wrote that it was the actions that mattered not the words in the post (so you're right).

yankeenaijababe said...
Love is when he gives you the last sushi or meat on his plate. How about that. You know every guy loves food and if he is willing to give you the last...he he he. You have found a good thing. Did that help?Enjoy every moment spent with each other... the LOVE thing would just pop.

Unfortunately, I don't eat sushi (hehehe).

Original Mgbeke said...
Ah, me I no sabi wetin Love be o. I've never really experienced it.I think it will come in it's own time...no rush am.

Temite said... Me sef dont know what Love is o dear. I guess love is when you really look out for the person more than anyone else. We're in the same shoes. I'm not anxious to experience love. I have enough time.

I can totally relate. I'm experiencing the 'puppy' version.

Rita said...
Aloted took some words out of my fingers:-) Love is deep. It is one of the sweetest things to imagine and experience. It comes in different forms and it is in everyone (in different degrees) because we are of God who is Love.You can read more about love in some of these links: http://preparingforurking.blogspot.com/2008/09/reciprocity-iii.html http://erolyrics.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-for-season.html

Off to read....

Writefreak said...
Hmmm...i agree the L word has been over used and overrated, people claim to be in love all the time then they say they've fallen out of love...real love endures the test of time. Ok as a married person this is what i would say love is, a commitment, a knowing in your heart that this is the person i want to be with all my life and doing all you can to protect the relationship> Read 1Corinthains 13 and you will get a clear definition of love,the God kinda love, so long as you have those evident in your relationship, then you can confidently say you're in love..Love never fails and it overcomes all trials...yeah it does.

I'm glad you have agreed to keep yourself till marriage, I don't hear a lot of that these days, some of us did make that decision and we haven't regretted it one bit..please don't yield to pressure.

Ok, if you're under 21 as you say, i'd say just take things easy, meet other people (although i met my husband when i was 19 in uni, we were in school together and we dated from our year 3 for 6 and half years till we got married)...

Thanks Writefreak. I hope I can stick to my promise and that I won't regreat it, I shouldn't! Boo actually tried to explain love to me with those same verses. 6.5 years? and you waited that long? Niceeee! We've heard it from a married person oh!

Love you all.

My boo...PDA

I miss him. We're not in the same town so there's a little bit of long distance relationship going on.

I'm constantly thinking of everyplace he's taken me, every time he's held me, everywhere he's kissed me, every awkward PDA moments we've had. The affordable long phone conversations.

I miss having a normal relationship but since when I was drawing a plan for my life right before Uni, a boyfriend wasn't included (but shit happened!), I'll embrace my 'in a relationship' facebook stats and make it work!

One third of the time, I thank God for the distance because at least the physical temptation part is reduced since we're not doing anything. And being in school we can focus on priorities. Will graduate soon by God's grace so till then...

Anyway, I hate walking alone down the street, in a park, at restaurant, cinema, even CHURCH and seeing those PDA (public display of affection) folks flirting, hugging, pecking, whispering all over the place. Especially the late-teens/ early twenties kinds (my age group of course). Am I supposed to jump off a cliff because I don't have a boo? At least I do but seriously I might start screaming at those folks-in-love "EH HEH!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TOO HE'S JUST NOT AROUND!!!!"

In 9ja, some holidays ago we were together was all lovey-dovey touch, kiss, hug me(again i repeat its just PG rated). Lol! Then he carried me like those newly weds and was kissing me. First we noticed a lawn mower guy near by so he turned away to avoid being 'spotted' and the gist reaching 'gossip girl',Pheww, then some older men were approaching. He kukuma dropped me and session was over. Lol! I don't like sending a PDA impression.

Another time some couple was in the PDA vibe (me and boo were jejely just talking on a bench) when an older 'father' figure went and started blasting them with insults and told the girl were to sit rather than stand in front of the guy with his arms around her. Lol! I just burst out laughing.

As per, my long distance loneliness, What make this worse for me is facebook! Someone did a post on the pressure of getting married since every now and then one of her friends was either engaged or getting married via Facebook's stalker vehicle.

Since my own level is that of flings and relationships of university kids it the PICTURES that bother me. The pressure to be with someone just to add a album with is ON. As in who will sit and take pictures of you and you boo/boo-ess kissing, spooning, intensely grinding (show of affection? huh?) and WHY are you putting it on facebook? This specie of PDA is not coincidental because an effort was made to actually upload on facebook for 'all friends' to view and comment of course. Why can't the pics be your laptop or cellphone wallpaper or screen saver?

The worse is when they breakup and are too ashamed to take off the pictures. Imagine I went through this girl's facebook and there were like 50 pictures of her and her ex. FIFTY??? Now they are not together how will she start deleting 50 tagged pictures? And the boy can't delete the 'My girl' album he created with her as the subject of the photo shoot.

I actually like seeing that people are happy but when the relationship is not secured, wait before you bombard us with pictures then break up after we've finished drooling, praying and fasting for a boyfriend just to add a facebook album called "Mi amor" or something random like that.

Shit happens so I'm not faulting anyone. (Seriously!)

I'll probably be uploading photos of me and boo when we hit a funky anniversary and I know it's serious enough to share with the world and it won't be an album or 50pictures maybe 5. Lol!

Which is worse street/road side PDA or Facebook 'young folks dating' PDA?