Breaking up!

I told y'all I always feel like breaking up with boo even though we seem perfect its 6 days a week of being wonderful and that one day. My old posts on him: http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/09/guy.html
http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-boopda.html

I'll tell him to call me when he's online so we can chat being cheaper than calling since we love to talk for hours. He'll be online and not call. Then I see he's even changed his facebook profile.
Or he won't call when he can't make it. I just sign out and do my school work and pretend like it never happened. Or I'll ask him about it and honestly, I can't remember any of his responses.

Or he'll remember he had to go to church or see someone or run an errand for his mum. I really trust him. At least he begs me to and I try.

It's like standing up someone, not showing up to a date, hanging up the phone on someone you say you care about.

He has been doing this since the first time we were together, when we broke up and now we're back together. I left him the first time because of this. We made up months after with him promising it will be different this time.

I know he cares about me but why would he keep doing something he knows I hate and upsets me very much. I hung up on him now but when I tried calling either his battery died and he fell asleep or he switched off. Even if I did something wrong by hanging up, he hurt me and I never hurt him. If I was a guy, I promise you, I will be to-die-for because I really try for boo.

He always says he'll never hurt me, never wants to hurt me and is scared of hurting me. (Did i just make sense?)

My eyes are red and sore, I'm crying and I HATE this. I really wish I didn't like any one its annoying. If I leave him, I'll feel even worse (been there done that) because the moment he claims he's changed I'll go back to him.

We'll probably make up and next week I'll be posting about how awesome our relationship is (I already did a post on Love! Lol!).. I don't know.

Maybe I'm overreacting. There's a lot of good to this guy but THIS is what ticks me off.

I'm currently still trying to call him but its not going through and its 1am in his time zone. My eyes are still sore. I'm gonna eat pizza now, then ice-cream. If I drank, I would have been gone by now.

I want to like text break up or send a miserable message but I don't want him to react the wrong way.

What should I do?

My boo...PDA

I miss him. We're not in the same town so there's a little bit of long distance relationship going on.

I'm constantly thinking of everyplace he's taken me, every time he's held me, everywhere he's kissed me, every awkward PDA moments we've had. The affordable long phone conversations.

I miss having a normal relationship but since when I was drawing a plan for my life right before Uni, a boyfriend wasn't included (but shit happened!), I'll embrace my 'in a relationship' facebook stats and make it work!

One third of the time, I thank God for the distance because at least the physical temptation part is reduced since we're not doing anything. And being in school we can focus on priorities. Will graduate soon by God's grace so till then...

Anyway, I hate walking alone down the street, in a park, at restaurant, cinema, even CHURCH and seeing those PDA (public display of affection) folks flirting, hugging, pecking, whispering all over the place. Especially the late-teens/ early twenties kinds (my age group of course). Am I supposed to jump off a cliff because I don't have a boo? At least I do but seriously I might start screaming at those folks-in-love "EH HEH!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TOO HE'S JUST NOT AROUND!!!!"

In 9ja, some holidays ago we were together was all lovey-dovey touch, kiss, hug me(again i repeat its just PG rated). Lol! Then he carried me like those newly weds and was kissing me. First we noticed a lawn mower guy near by so he turned away to avoid being 'spotted' and the gist reaching 'gossip girl',Pheww, then some older men were approaching. He kukuma dropped me and session was over. Lol! I don't like sending a PDA impression.

Another time some couple was in the PDA vibe (me and boo were jejely just talking on a bench) when an older 'father' figure went and started blasting them with insults and told the girl were to sit rather than stand in front of the guy with his arms around her. Lol! I just burst out laughing.

As per, my long distance loneliness, What make this worse for me is facebook! Someone did a post on the pressure of getting married since every now and then one of her friends was either engaged or getting married via Facebook's stalker vehicle.

Since my own level is that of flings and relationships of university kids it the PICTURES that bother me. The pressure to be with someone just to add a album with is ON. As in who will sit and take pictures of you and you boo/boo-ess kissing, spooning, intensely grinding (show of affection? huh?) and WHY are you putting it on facebook? This specie of PDA is not coincidental because an effort was made to actually upload on facebook for 'all friends' to view and comment of course. Why can't the pics be your laptop or cellphone wallpaper or screen saver?

The worse is when they breakup and are too ashamed to take off the pictures. Imagine I went through this girl's facebook and there were like 50 pictures of her and her ex. FIFTY??? Now they are not together how will she start deleting 50 tagged pictures? And the boy can't delete the 'My girl' album he created with her as the subject of the photo shoot.

I actually like seeing that people are happy but when the relationship is not secured, wait before you bombard us with pictures then break up after we've finished drooling, praying and fasting for a boyfriend just to add a facebook album called "Mi amor" or something random like that.

Shit happens so I'm not faulting anyone. (Seriously!)

I'll probably be uploading photos of me and boo when we hit a funky anniversary and I know it's serious enough to share with the world and it won't be an album or 50pictures maybe 5. Lol!

Which is worse street/road side PDA or Facebook 'young folks dating' PDA?