The darker the berry

..the sweeter the juice.

I once worked in this place where I was the darkest-complexioned one around. My boss had this young guy cousin of hers who came around a lot and one day she sent me on an errand- assisting him during after-hours. Somehow, I was charming in the way I went about everything and he could see that I was a bit charismatic when I related with folks especially my older colleagues. He asked for my number and I hesitated saying I didn't give folks my number. His reply "there's always a first time."

I was dealing with a breakup that was in words but not actions especially since my ex and I talked almost everyday and even went on a date. (story for another day)

Imagine him thinking he could launch me. First time keh?. Lol! I had a little crush-attraction thing going on. he was quiet, quite classy and was Hausa. I have a weakness for quiet Northern boys. Lol! If I popped there was no stopping on this one.

Then I got a message in the evening "the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice, the darker the skin, the deeper the roots...then some African ski gist blah blah...guess who?"

I was 18. Whether I was flattered/melted or not I can't remember but I didn't reply the text. I knew if I did, I'll probably get hooked with back and forth messages (which by the way is my addiction of some sort..chatting).

The next day, in the course of work, I found out that he was the one who sent the message.

Since he seemed like a nice guy, I was attracted, and he was someone I would spend hours on the phone with, 'warning' alarms where all over my head.

He called later that day but I missed the call. I didn't call back. I so badly wanted to get to know this guy but my heart was still with my ex. I wanted to but didn't have the nerve to move-on. I was scared of jumping into something new because I didn't see this guy as a friend but as fling-material. And the religion factor, I'm all for long-term relationships not flings so him being a Muslim (and the drama that occurs with mixed-religious relationships), I didn't know how further on that would play if we actually worked out.

Every situation like this where guy meets me, we exchange numbers with the aim of being 'friends', chat and talk everyday, guy falls for me, I might have a crush on him but nothing more then I cut off the communication and become the bitch while he claims to be heartbroken.

In this instance, I was probably going to be the one to be bitched. Nemesis!!

I was just thinking ahead oh! What if he just wanted to add me to his list of Abuja girls? Or honestly just be friends? Or shag? Think of every 18 yr old with deep suspicion for every guy she comes across. I'm an emotional wreck so I think like CRAZY before leaping or 'popping.'


I sent him a text almost two weeks after, thanked him for complimenting my skin tone, asked who it was (like I didn't know) and apologized for not replying. I didn't get a reply (somehow I thanked God he wasn't serious about me and I wasn't breaking a heart.) Then I saw him when he came to see my boss. We said hi to each other and both pretended like we had never met or had a teeny-weeny attempted fling!


Why do I still remember him? I dunno!

The first kiss and ex.

Hmm, 16 years. I wasn't quite happy. Thats a lie, but at least I knew what it felt like.

Met him at one of those holiday lesson kinda place.Had a crush on the guy or kinda liked him. We talked almost everyday and he called me "his girl" but the dude never asked me out aka no commitment, He was going to university in the States the next week and begged that we see. By the way, our 6 month relationship was purely cellphone based. Not because of my curfews but because I was kinda suspicious along the way.

So close to the time he was leaving, I tried to just quit any investing of puppy emotions for him but it was hard. He came to visit me in a place I hung out and we talked for a bit after not seeing each other for a while. I had to rush back home and then, just like that it happened. He pulled me close and planted his small lips on mine. I pushed him lightly and he wanted to go on since he wouldn't see me again (so American highschool summer fling-ish...not in Abuja dearie!). I don't know why I let him for 3 more seconds pushed him and ran down the stairs to leave the building. he sent me a text saying "F*&$ Ur beautiful and when we kissed, i swear....blah blah."

The next time I saw him, I promise you devil na winch, I let him kiss me again and then he entered full makeout mode with his hands tryna go the wrong direction and I really pushed him with a "don't touch my assets!" reaction. I sent him a text later that he wasn't what I thought he was a and he's reaction "don't people that like eachother makeout?" My qualms was that he called me his girl but never asked me out officially and was gonna leave Nigeria in a week so GOODY goody or not no Makeouts from any 16yr old girl who supposedly hates boys.

I felt raped. Considering where i stood on morals and standards, I never planned this would ever happen to me. I thought it was for silly girls only so I cried, was restless and felt used and abused. Now, i thank God he opened my eyes and i can't say I regret the experience.

After he left 9ja, he called my like once in 3months. I just fashed him until one day we were chatting online and he starts telling me he really liked me and didn't see any girls and accused me of thinking that he wanted to sleep with me. Then he told me he never wanted to have anthing to do with me. Hiss!! Jerk-mode! Thats By the way. (More gist on this guy!)

A FEW YEARS AFTER, I'm over the whole fling-situation and have a respectful boo.

Once you pop you can't stop. Now, I'm way too comfortable snogging my babe though I always try to remain within the proper limits.

Citing this example, Lord, please lemme abstain till marriage! No popping for me!