Moaners association

Continued from http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2009/01/moansss-moanss-moans.html

I live in an all-girls resident but some how this my neighbour's guy always finds his way here to make trouble. Anyone can visit but 'members' of opposite sex are not allowed in after certain hours.

I had it with the unique noises as in if kids go through this experience, they will promise to be celibate for life, condom companies will need bailouts, religious groups' work will be made easier and dem stds will vanish!

I will record them and play for whoever wants to hear. Ok that's mean.

Okay, so I finally complained and some actions will be taken. Apparently, I'm not oversensitive, this 'condition' is quite rare.

Next time don't continuously disturb an Abuja Maiden who is trying to study or sleep. Oya get behind me!! Amen!!

If you like hook up without me in consideration, moan like they flogged you and hit my wall in the process, my ethnic 'warrior' dna will resurface. Or I'll invite you to mass next sunday.

LOL! At least 9jans are very discreet. Yes you can doesn't mean Yes, you should.

The next step....

Not marriage oh!

Sorry, I've been in a hiatus of some sort, tired, busy, midterms.....

Anyway, whats up with my life is great! Life is good and yes, the boo, he's great too.

So since my blog is partly about my relationship, I'll spill.

Does any body watch Making the Band 4- Que and Dawn are just the cutest couple ever. They've been together for a year and a half. Watch:http://www.mtv.com/videos/?id=1604967 They talk about being open, honest and communicate everything...todos! They are sooo cute!

So, communication I hear is key. The fact that boo and I don't see each other often makes me want to be closer by telling him every and anything and being open and honest. If there's a problem, will let him know even if he can't do much to help. for me, that's an attempt to cover for the distance.

I though he wanted this more than me but he apears to not be that open. Like, its none of my business. He has so much inside sometimes I intentionally provoke him necause thats the only way to make him talk about whats going on. He naturally doesn't even spill much to others so its not me, I just want our communication level to be like mine with others.

Like my post on ex who discusses his future with me, boo doesn't do that. I won't quit talking to ex because I am a talker. If I have to talk for one hour to other guys, I should be able to do the same with boo or even talk two hours. I won't downsize my conversations with other guys to make boo high on the scale.

I want to feel like we are growing in some way so I try to get creative all the time and he appreciates/ loves it but doesn't reciprocate.

Condition bend crayfish shey? I guess its his personality or maybe we haven't reached that phase of him trusting me. I love catering to people, giving advice, making connections, doing favours, being a shoulder, and derive so much pleasure from those. I don't even get the opportunity to do much for him.

So should I just be patient maybe if we hit the one year stable mark, he'll open up more.

I trust him and I know he wants us, but maybe not on the top of his priority (like me too) but I just seem to have more 'time.'

Its like someone in a house screaming for you to come in but finds it difficult opening the door. They still tell you they want and need you to enter the house. Maybe I should break the lock perhaps? See that's damaging...Why did I get 'dated'.

Purity Rings (reposted)

Jonas brothers got blasted by Russel Brand (The worse VMA awards host ever) for wearing promise rings to pledge purity and be virgins till marriage.

The Jo-bros reacted with the comment rings are "a promise to ourselves and to God that we'll stay pure 'till marriage," and "it's [purity rings] pretty awesome, and the rings are just one of our ways of kind of like being different than everybody else out there."

The sales of purity rings went up. See even celebrity endorsements can make people 'wait.'


E! had this documentary on diamonds and mentioned Utah state's "Wait for the Bling" abstinence campaign. As you can guess, bad response! More Celebs, reality show stars are proudly preaching abstinence through their purity rings and you all know what celeb endorcement does.

One of my older girlfriends is one person everyone is jealous of. Explanation: she's just a 'good' girl. She has mad fun (never see her party hard but never grinding) dress hot but never indecent, intelligent but not nerdy and will proudly tell you in the cafeteria that her religion and culture want her to wait till marriage. All round obviously not perfect because no one is quite perfect but graduated first class with honors, has a great job with a top Fortune 500 firm and the sweetest boyfriend ever ($$$$). That's just an amebo (gossip) summary!

Anyway, I saw for the first time the TRUE LOVE WAITS (TLW) promise ring on her finger. I always used to read about them and saw pictures of Yankee folks wearing them in magazines.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ring

I want to get one for my birthday or for Christmas or valentines in case boo disappoints. Though it doesn't guarantee sticking to plan its a constant reminder like why do people wear wedding rings and still divorce? Or why do people not wear their wedding bling and still stick together. To an extent its a commercialized thing because our mothers didn't have to wear purity ring to remain a virgins/ be celibate till marriage and apparently, Beyonce isn't wearing a ring to prove Jay belongs to her.

Anyway, purity rings are the trend amongst my kind of folks so I'm keeping up and its also a money making move. Lol! Seriously, engagement rings, wedding rings, commitment rings all those things didn't exist back in the day, ring or no ring you better be a virgin (or pretend) else they'll ship you to the evil forest (Igbo style). Lol!

Rings are simply just a reminder of your 'vow.' It is usually to be replaced with a wedding ring. People reclaim virginity (after losing it to bad relationships, repentance, assaults etc) and because shit happens and they decide to be celibate till marriage so they also rock this 'bling.'

True Love Waits believers, if you wanna purchase any:

http://promiseringsovernight.com/

http://www.cornerstonejewelrydesigns.com/catalog/purity-rings-c-50.html

http://www.factory79.com/catalog.php?category=True%20Love%20Waits

One Abuja guy....

I met this guy through a guy friend. He was very posh, classy, far from razz. Money and exposure can do anything. I was impressed because I'm allergic to razzness (you'll even be wonder why when you see me oh! lolia! lol!). He was definitely NOT for me considering age and my immature tendencies, I handled with caution. Knowing this guy friend of mine, I knew where the brother hung out, the diddy lifestyle and all. Hustler, trust-fund baby, hardworker, liver of the good life, fresh out of university type. I think he went to Igbenidion.

He gave me his phone to put my number in. I put my number in and flashed my phone to get his number. The atmosphere didn't tolerate fronting.

He called. I didn't call back didn't want to sing to his melody.

He called again and started inventing gist that he supposedly gave me during his last phonecall. I'm far from stupid so I know what gist was transmitted to my ears. I was confused. I think he'd talked to too many girls.

He called to ask if he could some take me out. I was busy and seriously, I knew I was too stupid to be able to handle this one. I might shiver and faint during dinner, or shout Igbo Church songs during a movie, or worse case have to reveal my celibacy agendas...I'm a little nuts sometimes.

He called to ask why I didn't ever call him back.

He called to ask if I could come by and see him when he was hanging out near my house.

He stopped calling.

I saw him a year later during hols. Then saw him like all-the-time. He was kinda popular in his church (House on the Rock), in Ceddi Plaza joints, even my NYSC Corper friend knew him for 'forex' buying from the bank for his intercontinental vacations. I just said hi when we bumped. He confronted me saying "you act like you don't know me!" No one around would even think that it was HE that used to call me the way he did. Only God knows what Omobaba wanted.

He was too old for me. Though he's only a few years older than boo. My current limit stops at 24 until I'm ripe for marriage and become less picky.

Then I saw his pics on facebok with some chic I know. Chic was busy looking fly. They were really hanging out in one of those posh Abuja lounges. I think she might have felt accomplished hanging out with him. I wonder how they met necause she's soooo my age. (I shalt judge not!)

I just cringed! I added him on facebook and with the help of stalker mechanism, I know that he is a socialite, frequent wedding attender, mad party goer, globe trotter/ frequent traveller, ladies' love, and swagger machine....

I still stored his number in my phone. For future networking never know when I'll start calling him.

Whatever!!!!!!!Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Case of the ex-

Now my 'ex' and I have patched things up since we've grown up and are less naive.

I was chatting with him via facebook and we sounded like close buddies, like nothing 'evil' ever happened (lolia!), like I was never hurt by him.

We talked about food, Nigeria, his family, his internships, the future, graduate schools, youth service, and entering the job market in this 'wahala' economy.

He's smart. Very smart and ambitious! I can imagine my Cashmere Mafia self doing business with him in the future. Chimoo!

He was my first kiss! But then when he tried to make out with me (at my very naive phase in life), asked me to come to his house instead of hanging out 'elsewhere' and I refused because I wasn't comfortable since we weren't official and he was heading to college abroad. He called me 'weird.' I felt emotional torture and minor assault. If a guy goes beyond his boundaries even if its not sex, it hurts.
He didn't even think he did anything wrong guess that's why its hard for some guys to be respectful.

He emailed me after 2 weeks of being in the US then called after 2months. I was getting over him FAST! Then I started ignoring him. He'd email me, then email, and email, ask for pictures, then ask, and ask again. I ignored/ avoided checking my email till He was begging.
It was hard to forgive someone who could have taken advantage of you innocently. What if?

I randomly called him for like 2mins (or call and hang up when he picked). He claimed he was broke and couldn't call and then while chatting via yahoo IM, we got into an argument. He was accusing me of thinking he was trying to sleep with me when he was angry I refused to makeout with him being that we 'liked' each other (at age 16). Then he said "I never want to have anything to do with you." the he signed out GBOSA!!!!! I re-read the whole conversation and archived it. It's still saved on the PC.

I took a vacation, shopped, and got over him. He emailed me few months after to apologise and tell me he thought about me a lot. He then started calling after making some internship money. By then, I was a year older and my current boo and I after being friends for a while started 'talking.'

When I was in first year of uni in America, he apologised for being immature, that he missed me, and wanted me back. He was ready to fly to my school/ pay my ticket to fly to his city (I was in the same country as him now!) I told him that I was with boo (some months into us).

He was hurt but after what he did to me emotionally, I didn't feel remorse. I was hurt for months and finally happy that I learnt a lesson and moved on.

That was a WHILE ago and we don't talk ever maybe 'Happy Birthday' courtesy of facebook reminders but some notification on my facebook profile caught him and he buzzed me and gist started.

I decided to go through all his emails and I realize he wasn't too bad a guy. I wish the bad 'memories' never happened but that's what immaturity does to you. I found a letter I wrote to him. Thank God I never sent it to him. It was in the pocket of the jeans I wore the day i started dating boo. The note has spent 3years in and out of the washer in the same jean pocket....hehehe we children of nowadays!

What if? I think of all the possibilities....its so hard I'm having one of those 'moments' but I'll be fine that's why we grow up huh? Thank God for his mercies.

Welcome to February!!!!!