Just a Kiss

We ain't gotta go all the way
But, baby, we can do somethings
A little game I like to play
Listen, shawty

Girl, you don't need to be nervous
I know I just met you, these other girls lookin'
But I never disrespect you, babe
This's gonna be okay, yeah

You was pretty as a picture
I want you in my room
You whisper in my ear
I don't wanna move too soon, okay
This's gonna be okay, yeah

Ooh, your body's soft
Now take that jacket off
I think we gon' be good friends, yeah

Shawty, no need to be scared
If you don't wanna go there
No days before we begin
We ain't gotta go

We ain't gotta go all the way
But, baby, we can do somethings
A little game I like to play

Just a kiss, just a kiss, just a kiss
Ooh, girl
Just a kiss, just a kiss
Can we play, can we play?

And we're flirtin' and jokin'
And I can see that you're open
Everything I'm doing
I can tell that you love it, babe
You like the way we play

So we touchin' and teasin'
Now you got me feelin'
We both know we want
The next step for pleasin', babe
But we can wait another day

Ooh, your body's soft
Now take that jacket off
I think we gon' be good friends

Shawty, no need to be scared
If you don't wanna go there
No days before we begin

We ain't gotta go all the way
But, baby, we can do some things
A little game I like to play

We ain't gotta go all the way
But, baby, we can do somethings
A little game I like to play

Just a kiss, just a kiss

It's a song by Mishon (singer, dancer and actor) about taking things slowly.

Read my last post and keep sending in questions.

My bad

Hope bIogville has been aite. Sorry I closed the blog without announcing.

I'm debating 'to blog' or 'not to.'

Boo and I broke up.

I closed the blog for reasons related to the fight we had.

I was outed. If you thought you knew me and I haven't told ya already, then you don't know.

Boo and I made up, we will no longer be long distance as the distance has been cut short. Amen!

Irealized my blog might have been exculsive andboo opened up myeyes to alot of things. If I continue blogging, I'll be more inclusive, realistic but I'm not compromising.

Anyhoo, I've started reading some amazing blogs... So I doubt, I was missed much.

God is love and true love waits!

-am

New Blogs and taking a break

They might not be new but I only started reading and I love already!

Ready dee: http://readydee.blogspot.com/ (tags- sex, abuse, marriage, first times, virginity) You'll like if you like Aloted, Writefreak, Solomonsydelle and Oluwadee!!! Hehe

Phat girl- http://imaphatgurl.blogspot.com/

Sorry, I need to fast from blogville for many reasons including the time of the year when work is at its peak...Till I return (in some months time)!!!!

Peace!

The other man

One hard thing about having a boyfriend that I haven't seen in over 6 weeks is the temptation factor.

During that 'no seeing' period, to I was at a party and I met this guy. He was a DJ and some of my friends were hosting the party. I dunno whether he was mixing business with pleasure but I left the dancehall to a quieter lounge (so I could call boo) and he came and joined me (boo's phone was unavailable) then the DJ and I started talking.

I think communication can be my strenght because I probably wowed the brother with information after 'random' interesting gist because he wasn't expecting me to gist with him about the middle of nowhere country he originally comes from...hehe, lol!

He gave me his phone to enter my 'contact' so he could add me as a facebook friend and send pictures of the party. He added me asap, I saw his pictures and the guy fine sha, just very narcissistic with an abundance of sezzy pictures, and chics.

To 'amebo' outsiders, I got game until I broke the news to them. It was merely business. I didn't give him my number. He never even emailed the pictures and I didn't ask.

He is 'in a relationship' on facebook.

Whatever!!!! I have a boyfriend.

Going private or quitting

I think I should be going private pretty soon or quiting blogville all together.

It's the same reasons as others.

Happy Easter!!!!

All the same, God is Love and True Love Waits!

Maiden all the way from Abuja.

post your emails incase sha.

So I didn't grind him...

Kini big deal?

continued from my last...

Anyway I was at another party where the DJ played mostly crunk and hip hop I was definitely in my dance mode with a bunch of other girls when a few guys joined in and disappeared with some of the girls to their quiet grinding corners.

Girls can be wicked when guys are thrown in the equation.

So, this my so-called acquaintance who's my best guy friend during the week (we rarely talk during weekends) comes to dance. As my buddy, I danced without even thinking; facing him just enjoying myself without bothering if he was in front of me or not. He vexed and wanted me to turn around. Oya o! I turned but lai lai, I'm a temple. Ok, I was just having fun dutty whining and cranking Soujah-boy, didn't having to be all over his thighs.

(He dey crase think say I no get sense).

I continued dancing mindlessly with no body contact (though in my mind I was just laughing at the deprived poor guy...!) Thing is 80% of the girls there would jump at the opportunity to dance with this dude. Apparently he is some hot somebody. Sha, I saw a friend and ran to say hi. I'm sure he was singing praises.

Okay, this guy can be stand out as a man-skank during parties (take it from me. I'll rather he get paid for the lap dances he gives those his girls, then he can concentrate on that side hustle not my inability to satisfy his grindly desires). The music started crunking my head for me and I left. Later I saw (in a bulletin) that he was leading/ preaching at evening service in our school church (I'm still trying not to judge oh!)

From Monday till Friday, we'll see hug, talk about personal issues and once people even thought we were dating. We rarely talk during weekend parties. Now he has a girlfriend so I'm free of grind-threats... though he's hardly faithful to her in that department.

Hmmmm!

IN YOUR FACE

One interesting thing about blogville is that commenters always seem to have your back except they sign in as 'anonymous,' they/ we seem to always be nice.

One blog posted on topic A, and the commenters cheered.

The the other blog posted on the flip-opposite topic B, and the commenters cheered.
(Some gave excuses for supporting A though).

Thanks for your comments the last time. But I got thinking why my 'status' should offend anyone. I could have blogged about my academic life, Abuja adventures, career goals, poetry, lifestyle, etc, but I choose 'abstinence' because as a blogspot reader, I couldn't relate to some blogs' content and in order to find a 'place,' I started my blog with a theme.

Having a theme keeps me from posting random posts and stay on track while narrating my experiences and dilemmas.

Through blogging, I have found an anonymous support group, and talk about things that I would talk about in class, church, while hanging out, or on the streets.

Virginity, sex, abstinence, aristos, guys, pervs..all that jazz.

Everyone know the bloggers with 3kids, the one who relocated to Nigeria, newly married guy, born-again, makeup artist, calabar indigene, budding designer, Island dwellers, married-a-virgin, NYSCorper.... Those are their themes.

Are the barren, 'stuck' green hard immigrants, unmarried, bad-at-makeup, not-from-calabar, untalented, Mainland locals, kpanshing-obsessed, underclassmen offended???

Maybe the 'virgin' stuff is in ones face, I'll change it...but Hey, that's my theme!!!! Sorry, all the other bloggers should start saying sorry.

I apologize for my blogdoings.

Should I change my layout or not?

p.s. I'm not angry oh!

Needle in haystack

I reached a breakdown point. I almost cried.

Why should I regret that I have some pride of my own?

Why should being a virgin and choosing to wait-till-marriage be something should be ashamed of?

Why do virgins have bad reputations? negative stereotypes?

What is wrong if I have something that you would never, ever have? It doesn't make you better than me or vice versa.

I though blogging would give me some strength but the reason I started blogging in the first place hasn't been accomplished. I feel worse that when I started. And the worse part is that the people I thought would be encouraging (aka some church goers) seem hypocritical. I thought Christianity was so much more that making noise, spitting verses or attending church. Why do people scream Jesus, speak in tongues, burn Holy spirit fire ('while I'm not') but be the first to brag about their pre-church activities to me?

Sorry, I'm just angry, upset, furious........phewwwwww!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

The ATM Card

ATM= Abstinence Till Marriage. Get it?

I was at a shopping mall when a someonr gave me this card. It looked just like a Debit card.

Credit crunch solution or what??????

The card has the place where you put your signature under an agreement to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Its not really about being a virgin (or not) more of celibacy (100% guard against STDs, HIV-AIDS, Pregnancy, Heartbreak, and for Christians and other religious preaching 'wait till marriage' to live according to God's command-If lying is a big deal, I guess there are 9 other commandments to follow).

I quote the ATM card,

"100% effective way to avoid physical and emotional consequences of premarital sex, ..enhance my future relationships", and

the expiry date- "wedding day"

hehehe....(guess God wasn't trying to punish us but help us when Moses/Musa wrote those laws down.)

Website: http://www.wait4yourmate.com/

I don't need a card to make me stick to my morals. Or it might work like a purity ring if it stays in your wallet.

I checked out the website (above) and found out that its not even a Christian program. Its actually for High-school teenagers but just so you know.

Peace!

Omo grind for me.

I remember the birth of this dancing style into secondary schools and the drama that came along with it. Wonder if its ever going to fade away partly because in facebook albums younger and younger facebook friends are uploading albums with their J.Los (as my friend says) all the way wherever it it when they are seriously in the grind.

In secondary school, I had a 'friend' who'd gossip all day about who was grinding who, the girl she saw, the guy, blah blah. A friend told me that in her school, one girl took pictures of all the grinders (when grinding was supposedly a bad people thing), printed them and brought them to school the next term= paparazzi shots. Now, its not a big deal but that was 5 years ago.

I watched a comedian (Nigerian) say that back in the day, guys faced the girl to show off their 'baffs' or clothing but now girls (who hardly see/check out the guys clothes), in the wake of feminism, are using their 'feminist' powers to punish guys using grinding skills, and when they go all the way down and back up, CHEI!!! (I'm typing in the comedians tone oh!)


(I mean the guy is the only one enjoying. See, I'll rather the satisfaction be mutual and I don't want no guy grinding on me biko! I'm too feminist joh!)

Watch: http://new.bolaji.net/video/play/259/323 (Mr. Lecturer on grinding)


I have really only slow danced with boo, arms around, facing, really close but not any different from if I was slow dancing with any other 'friend' like at senior dance. Even if I'm backing him, its nothing sensual or steamy. I was at a party where everyone stopped dancing to watch this girl (senior year) grind/ hump this poor young man (sophomore). She was really into (early cougar-isms) as in it was soooo intense and 'out of this world' that it was like we were in a cinema (free with chips and soda) and they were the movie (low budget perhaps). She didn't win an Oscar (Akon did in Trinidad) or the guy! She graduated and he found him a freshman girl to date.

Maybe I'm too feminist to be okay 'serving' a guy. That feels like submissiveness (to me) only that there's music playing with disco lights. I don't conform. Somehow I think its classy even though the guy I danced with but didn't grind is thinking I'm Mother Theresa. I either love myself too much or hold my self in extremely high esteem or try to be virtuous and limit the level of man contact.

Another comedian (American) cracked some joke about some chic who was all over him in the club grinding him left right and center. When the party was over, he invited her to 'watch a movie,' actually just to hook up and she started vexing that she's not a whore and all, dude was like "what you were doing in the club sold you out as one" that's why he 'innocently' wanted booty. Guys are funny, I can imagine him asking me for more afterwards. Take about the impression girls send and the way guys interpret.


Did anyone see the viral video of the 4year olds grinding, I felt so bad for the young girl.....

Sorry, spilling my thoughts....tell me what you think. Grinders opinion especially wanted.

So is grinding just fun with everyone, intimate with 'him only', girl-liberating power, or man-serving?

(more grinding posts to come).

Boys and diets

So while I was in the cafeteria earlier, for lunch, I grabbed three slices of bread and wrapped to 'takeaway' since I had a commitment and planned to miss the next meal. Only for this guy (that I know) to walk up to me and say "thats A LOT of bread!"

Chimooo, see me see trouble. I didn't even call him to strike a conversation he just came up to me to comment about my food. What's his business with the quantity of food I'm eating.

As much as I believe guys give girls extra insecurities and should mind their business when it comes to weight issues, I might not have minded a 'loved one' making that comment out of concern. If I have 2 mould of pounded yam or any starchy Nigerian calorie-filed delight, that might be understandable.

When did 3 slices of wholewheat bread become a lot? I can even tell you the amount of calories in 3 damn slices. Its not even up to 200kcal.

I told him "this is my dinner. Is this even ENOUGH????" Then he replied "No!"

Hardcore "Ara (madness)." I could have just slapped him right there but dang, its not Abuja, I could have gathered agbero boys (thugs) to finish him with insults, they even know that you don't make stupid comments like that and would have helped me handle the situation properly.

Imagine?

Moaning update

They have transferred elsewhere. I hardly see the girl around talkless of her companion.

Wait, did I get them kicked out of school????

Naaah, but I can now study, sleep and resume reading my devotions without 'sinful' disturbances...he he!

Moaners association

Continued from http://abujamaiden.blogspot.com/2009/01/moansss-moanss-moans.html

I live in an all-girls resident but some how this my neighbour's guy always finds his way here to make trouble. Anyone can visit but 'members' of opposite sex are not allowed in after certain hours.

I had it with the unique noises as in if kids go through this experience, they will promise to be celibate for life, condom companies will need bailouts, religious groups' work will be made easier and dem stds will vanish!

I will record them and play for whoever wants to hear. Ok that's mean.

Okay, so I finally complained and some actions will be taken. Apparently, I'm not oversensitive, this 'condition' is quite rare.

Next time don't continuously disturb an Abuja Maiden who is trying to study or sleep. Oya get behind me!! Amen!!

If you like hook up without me in consideration, moan like they flogged you and hit my wall in the process, my ethnic 'warrior' dna will resurface. Or I'll invite you to mass next sunday.

LOL! At least 9jans are very discreet. Yes you can doesn't mean Yes, you should.

The next step....

Not marriage oh!

Sorry, I've been in a hiatus of some sort, tired, busy, midterms.....

Anyway, whats up with my life is great! Life is good and yes, the boo, he's great too.

So since my blog is partly about my relationship, I'll spill.

Does any body watch Making the Band 4- Que and Dawn are just the cutest couple ever. They've been together for a year and a half. Watch:http://www.mtv.com/videos/?id=1604967 They talk about being open, honest and communicate everything...todos! They are sooo cute!

So, communication I hear is key. The fact that boo and I don't see each other often makes me want to be closer by telling him every and anything and being open and honest. If there's a problem, will let him know even if he can't do much to help. for me, that's an attempt to cover for the distance.

I though he wanted this more than me but he apears to not be that open. Like, its none of my business. He has so much inside sometimes I intentionally provoke him necause thats the only way to make him talk about whats going on. He naturally doesn't even spill much to others so its not me, I just want our communication level to be like mine with others.

Like my post on ex who discusses his future with me, boo doesn't do that. I won't quit talking to ex because I am a talker. If I have to talk for one hour to other guys, I should be able to do the same with boo or even talk two hours. I won't downsize my conversations with other guys to make boo high on the scale.

I want to feel like we are growing in some way so I try to get creative all the time and he appreciates/ loves it but doesn't reciprocate.

Condition bend crayfish shey? I guess its his personality or maybe we haven't reached that phase of him trusting me. I love catering to people, giving advice, making connections, doing favours, being a shoulder, and derive so much pleasure from those. I don't even get the opportunity to do much for him.

So should I just be patient maybe if we hit the one year stable mark, he'll open up more.

I trust him and I know he wants us, but maybe not on the top of his priority (like me too) but I just seem to have more 'time.'

Its like someone in a house screaming for you to come in but finds it difficult opening the door. They still tell you they want and need you to enter the house. Maybe I should break the lock perhaps? See that's damaging...Why did I get 'dated'.

Purity Rings (reposted)

Jonas brothers got blasted by Russel Brand (The worse VMA awards host ever) for wearing promise rings to pledge purity and be virgins till marriage.

The Jo-bros reacted with the comment rings are "a promise to ourselves and to God that we'll stay pure 'till marriage," and "it's [purity rings] pretty awesome, and the rings are just one of our ways of kind of like being different than everybody else out there."

The sales of purity rings went up. See even celebrity endorsements can make people 'wait.'


E! had this documentary on diamonds and mentioned Utah state's "Wait for the Bling" abstinence campaign. As you can guess, bad response! More Celebs, reality show stars are proudly preaching abstinence through their purity rings and you all know what celeb endorcement does.

One of my older girlfriends is one person everyone is jealous of. Explanation: she's just a 'good' girl. She has mad fun (never see her party hard but never grinding) dress hot but never indecent, intelligent but not nerdy and will proudly tell you in the cafeteria that her religion and culture want her to wait till marriage. All round obviously not perfect because no one is quite perfect but graduated first class with honors, has a great job with a top Fortune 500 firm and the sweetest boyfriend ever ($$$$). That's just an amebo (gossip) summary!

Anyway, I saw for the first time the TRUE LOVE WAITS (TLW) promise ring on her finger. I always used to read about them and saw pictures of Yankee folks wearing them in magazines.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ring

I want to get one for my birthday or for Christmas or valentines in case boo disappoints. Though it doesn't guarantee sticking to plan its a constant reminder like why do people wear wedding rings and still divorce? Or why do people not wear their wedding bling and still stick together. To an extent its a commercialized thing because our mothers didn't have to wear purity ring to remain a virgins/ be celibate till marriage and apparently, Beyonce isn't wearing a ring to prove Jay belongs to her.

Anyway, purity rings are the trend amongst my kind of folks so I'm keeping up and its also a money making move. Lol! Seriously, engagement rings, wedding rings, commitment rings all those things didn't exist back in the day, ring or no ring you better be a virgin (or pretend) else they'll ship you to the evil forest (Igbo style). Lol!

Rings are simply just a reminder of your 'vow.' It is usually to be replaced with a wedding ring. People reclaim virginity (after losing it to bad relationships, repentance, assaults etc) and because shit happens and they decide to be celibate till marriage so they also rock this 'bling.'

True Love Waits believers, if you wanna purchase any:

http://promiseringsovernight.com/

http://www.cornerstonejewelrydesigns.com/catalog/purity-rings-c-50.html

http://www.factory79.com/catalog.php?category=True%20Love%20Waits

One Abuja guy....

I met this guy through a guy friend. He was very posh, classy, far from razz. Money and exposure can do anything. I was impressed because I'm allergic to razzness (you'll even be wonder why when you see me oh! lolia! lol!). He was definitely NOT for me considering age and my immature tendencies, I handled with caution. Knowing this guy friend of mine, I knew where the brother hung out, the diddy lifestyle and all. Hustler, trust-fund baby, hardworker, liver of the good life, fresh out of university type. I think he went to Igbenidion.

He gave me his phone to put my number in. I put my number in and flashed my phone to get his number. The atmosphere didn't tolerate fronting.

He called. I didn't call back didn't want to sing to his melody.

He called again and started inventing gist that he supposedly gave me during his last phonecall. I'm far from stupid so I know what gist was transmitted to my ears. I was confused. I think he'd talked to too many girls.

He called to ask if he could some take me out. I was busy and seriously, I knew I was too stupid to be able to handle this one. I might shiver and faint during dinner, or shout Igbo Church songs during a movie, or worse case have to reveal my celibacy agendas...I'm a little nuts sometimes.

He called to ask why I didn't ever call him back.

He called to ask if I could come by and see him when he was hanging out near my house.

He stopped calling.

I saw him a year later during hols. Then saw him like all-the-time. He was kinda popular in his church (House on the Rock), in Ceddi Plaza joints, even my NYSC Corper friend knew him for 'forex' buying from the bank for his intercontinental vacations. I just said hi when we bumped. He confronted me saying "you act like you don't know me!" No one around would even think that it was HE that used to call me the way he did. Only God knows what Omobaba wanted.

He was too old for me. Though he's only a few years older than boo. My current limit stops at 24 until I'm ripe for marriage and become less picky.

Then I saw his pics on facebok with some chic I know. Chic was busy looking fly. They were really hanging out in one of those posh Abuja lounges. I think she might have felt accomplished hanging out with him. I wonder how they met necause she's soooo my age. (I shalt judge not!)

I just cringed! I added him on facebook and with the help of stalker mechanism, I know that he is a socialite, frequent wedding attender, mad party goer, globe trotter/ frequent traveller, ladies' love, and swagger machine....

I still stored his number in my phone. For future networking never know when I'll start calling him.

Whatever!!!!!!!Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Case of the ex-

Now my 'ex' and I have patched things up since we've grown up and are less naive.

I was chatting with him via facebook and we sounded like close buddies, like nothing 'evil' ever happened (lolia!), like I was never hurt by him.

We talked about food, Nigeria, his family, his internships, the future, graduate schools, youth service, and entering the job market in this 'wahala' economy.

He's smart. Very smart and ambitious! I can imagine my Cashmere Mafia self doing business with him in the future. Chimoo!

He was my first kiss! But then when he tried to make out with me (at my very naive phase in life), asked me to come to his house instead of hanging out 'elsewhere' and I refused because I wasn't comfortable since we weren't official and he was heading to college abroad. He called me 'weird.' I felt emotional torture and minor assault. If a guy goes beyond his boundaries even if its not sex, it hurts.
He didn't even think he did anything wrong guess that's why its hard for some guys to be respectful.

He emailed me after 2 weeks of being in the US then called after 2months. I was getting over him FAST! Then I started ignoring him. He'd email me, then email, and email, ask for pictures, then ask, and ask again. I ignored/ avoided checking my email till He was begging.
It was hard to forgive someone who could have taken advantage of you innocently. What if?

I randomly called him for like 2mins (or call and hang up when he picked). He claimed he was broke and couldn't call and then while chatting via yahoo IM, we got into an argument. He was accusing me of thinking he was trying to sleep with me when he was angry I refused to makeout with him being that we 'liked' each other (at age 16). Then he said "I never want to have anything to do with you." the he signed out GBOSA!!!!! I re-read the whole conversation and archived it. It's still saved on the PC.

I took a vacation, shopped, and got over him. He emailed me few months after to apologise and tell me he thought about me a lot. He then started calling after making some internship money. By then, I was a year older and my current boo and I after being friends for a while started 'talking.'

When I was in first year of uni in America, he apologised for being immature, that he missed me, and wanted me back. He was ready to fly to my school/ pay my ticket to fly to his city (I was in the same country as him now!) I told him that I was with boo (some months into us).

He was hurt but after what he did to me emotionally, I didn't feel remorse. I was hurt for months and finally happy that I learnt a lesson and moved on.

That was a WHILE ago and we don't talk ever maybe 'Happy Birthday' courtesy of facebook reminders but some notification on my facebook profile caught him and he buzzed me and gist started.

I decided to go through all his emails and I realize he wasn't too bad a guy. I wish the bad 'memories' never happened but that's what immaturity does to you. I found a letter I wrote to him. Thank God I never sent it to him. It was in the pocket of the jeans I wore the day i started dating boo. The note has spent 3years in and out of the washer in the same jean pocket....hehehe we children of nowadays!

What if? I think of all the possibilities....its so hard I'm having one of those 'moments' but I'll be fine that's why we grow up huh? Thank God for his mercies.

Welcome to February!!!!!

Moansss, moanss, moans

Poor Abujamaiden had to endure almost 2 hours of advance moaning. At first I thought the folk next door were just watching a movie but NO, they weren't. I could hear the TV and I could hear human beings both of them.

Just plain torture, and shock 'biko' I've never heard these things. I'm fortunate to have lived around discreet, private beings so I had to leave the room and forfeit my Sunday afternoon nap. I joined some freshmen girls to watch X-men in the common room. I wanted to call the room's land line (lucky them I didn't find the number), or knock on the door (we're allowed to knock to tell neighbours to shush-it).

I text boo to inform him about my afternoon and he either was too slow to understand or he didn't want us talking about some one's sex life. Parasitic I must say since they deprived me of my fundamental human right to sleep after church service.

I love my privacy too much now I have to look at this girl in class and in the dorm with only moaning sounds playing in my head.

I have to sleep early now due to lack of napping.

They are currently still making noise (5hours later) but only laughing with the TV on. I have to find out who the guy coming to my dorm to disrupt my sleep is. In fact, I'm gonna knock on the door and give it to them 9ja style.

***Update: They resumed moaning an hour after I finished typing this post. I got the room number and called. Imagine the guy picked after it rang 6 times. I could even hear the phone ringing. I interrupted the mugus and told them to "reduce the volume please." Just when I stepped outside to drink water, the guy came out from her room in his boxers (you can't co-habit after midnight in my dorm). And the fish head just looked like he was playing video games.

Have a blessed week everyone.

AM.

L-word Update...I'm in LOVE with

Blogville is my love oh! I decided to do this post as a response to some of the comments I got from the last post on Love and its definition. I'm not eager for boo to say he loves me neither do I think I'm in love with him talk less of saying what other 'small-girls' have said to him. A blogger once commented saying that I was in love hence the motivation to post on the dilemma surrounding the L-word.

My response to most of the comments is in bold. Feel free to continue commenting.

Riri said...
aww,,the L word shall come when the time is right! and you're right people just say they love other people just to feel mature its all lust..lolxx

Yea, its lust I guess. Whenever the time is right

doll said...
any guy that says I luv u within 6 months of meeting me/ dating me is disqualified….d longer it takes 2 say it d surer I am, that u mean it wen u say it…so savor d anticipation of d moment

We've been dating for over a year. I'm not even ready for it. The right time, please,better not be now. I have a degree to complete.

soul child said...
don't worry he would say it...as long as he cares about u and is not messing up...saying i love u is not just an obligation ..ppl think because their in a relationship..they have to say it even if they dont mean it...the L word is losing its authenticity...

Like I said in my post, I was wondering why I wasn't rushing to say I loved him when his girlfriend (when he was 17-18 years) and she was like 16 told him she loved him and here I am. He's now over 21 and I'm not feeling love like his teenage ex.

aloted said...
Hmm...gosh this post just brought back some teenage "He loves me, he loves me not" memories! Ok first of all I don’t blame him for not saying the L word immediately because that word has been debased in some many ways. At the same time I don’t expect him to rub it in your face that “I wont be saying the L word any time soon so don’t hold your breath”. I want to believe he is not doing that. My definition of love can be found in 1cor 13. Love can reveal itself in different forms but the foundation from 1cor 13: 4-8 should be there.Actions surely speaks louder than words, so as long as his actions are showing he loves and respects u...don’t sweat it...the words will come later. The L word should come without fear...There is no fear in love.Also did u say you were under 21...you are still very young so take your time in this love matter cuz u still have many many more years to love. Guard your heart. Make friends, face your studies and have hobbies and be close to God. I am glad both of you are keeping yourselves till you get married…that way if it does not work out all is not lost.Question for you- if he says I love u today (I also don’t recommend u saying it first) would u be able to say I love u too back to him. Ok this comment is becoming very long…..God bless!

God Bless you madam Aloted. The post was more of a question. I stated how i felt about him, many of my friends would just say "you love him," but I won't admit it (I can't believe now is the time for love). I just wanted someone to tell me that my opinion was right that I could really care about someone, share the same beliefs as them, be their friend and NOT love them (except girlfriends and family).

I have a huge head on my body so school comes first, If i didn't care about him so much, I'd rather we weren't dating until I finished with school. He's mature and very responsible, and a great friend. Love can wait.

He wasn't really rubbing it in my face that was like 3yrs ago we weren't a serious couple. He was explaining that he won't throw the word at me or anyone because Love is what you feel for only one person. I was fresh outta secondary school then and I'm actually happy he told me that.

If he tells me he loves me, I wouldn't say it back 'now.'

Funms-the rebirth said...
Aloted has said everything........ I'm sure when hes ready, he'll say it.... don't stress about it... enjoy what u guys r sharing now

I'm enjoying what we have which is puppy love. Sha, I'm not anxious. Dude should just wait until I graduate/ get a life so I don't quit school now because Love is shacking me.

Teeee said...
I agree with you that love is a feeling but it also stands the test of time. Furthermore, love is natural -maybe you're relationship still has to grow. Are you sure he said it and you weren't listening?

Teeee, na wa oh! No he didn't say it. When we first took a break he said he thought he was in love with someone (fit the puzzle he meant me) but our relationship is still growing so I hope he didn't say it.

Beyond said...
I think love is more about the feeling n action rather than the word of the mouth. I will prefer a say say the L-word when he actually means it rather than saying it cos that's what he's expected or suppose to say...Have a great weekend.

At least if there's a teeny bit of love in me, I won't screw up by admitting or even saying it even if he's said it already. I also wrote that it was the actions that mattered not the words in the post (so you're right).

yankeenaijababe said...
Love is when he gives you the last sushi or meat on his plate. How about that. You know every guy loves food and if he is willing to give you the last...he he he. You have found a good thing. Did that help?Enjoy every moment spent with each other... the LOVE thing would just pop.

Unfortunately, I don't eat sushi (hehehe).

Original Mgbeke said...
Ah, me I no sabi wetin Love be o. I've never really experienced it.I think it will come in it's own time...no rush am.

Temite said... Me sef dont know what Love is o dear. I guess love is when you really look out for the person more than anyone else. We're in the same shoes. I'm not anxious to experience love. I have enough time.

I can totally relate. I'm experiencing the 'puppy' version.

Rita said...
Aloted took some words out of my fingers:-) Love is deep. It is one of the sweetest things to imagine and experience. It comes in different forms and it is in everyone (in different degrees) because we are of God who is Love.You can read more about love in some of these links: http://preparingforurking.blogspot.com/2008/09/reciprocity-iii.html http://erolyrics.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-for-season.html

Off to read....

Writefreak said...
Hmmm...i agree the L word has been over used and overrated, people claim to be in love all the time then they say they've fallen out of love...real love endures the test of time. Ok as a married person this is what i would say love is, a commitment, a knowing in your heart that this is the person i want to be with all my life and doing all you can to protect the relationship> Read 1Corinthains 13 and you will get a clear definition of love,the God kinda love, so long as you have those evident in your relationship, then you can confidently say you're in love..Love never fails and it overcomes all trials...yeah it does.

I'm glad you have agreed to keep yourself till marriage, I don't hear a lot of that these days, some of us did make that decision and we haven't regretted it one bit..please don't yield to pressure.

Ok, if you're under 21 as you say, i'd say just take things easy, meet other people (although i met my husband when i was 19 in uni, we were in school together and we dated from our year 3 for 6 and half years till we got married)...

Thanks Writefreak. I hope I can stick to my promise and that I won't regreat it, I shouldn't! Boo actually tried to explain love to me with those same verses. 6.5 years? and you waited that long? Niceeee! We've heard it from a married person oh!

Love you all.

Happy New Maiden

I still don't like the word 'maiden'...hehe. I'm getting used to it though.

I thesaurus-ed synonyms of 'virgin' and it came up and since my blog was just about the aspect of celibacy, love, guys and relationships, I stuck with the virgin theme hence Maiden!

Happy New Year everyone. I'm not a resolution maker but I've decided to work on my time management: there is a time to study, time to blog, time to watch tv, time to play and even more time to study (again).

My academics are definitely a priority this year 2009. I want spiritual growth in my relationship with God and want to have a better attitude towards/ relationship with other. I want my family to be closer. I adore my boo and want our relationship to be stronger and 'less distracting.' I need to manage my finances better, I want to travel more, exercise more, and explore more diverse subjects (contestants on Who wants to be a millionaire and Jeopardy didn't fall from the sky. Educate yourselves people).

I changed my template (wooohooo!) which deleted my blog list and counter (hisssss!) but its a New Year so what the heck? Embrace change. I'll re-do my blog listing.

Thank you all for reading my blog and supporting my decision of purity until marriage. I feel like I have a stronger support group on blogville than in 'reality' where folk don't talk about celibacy with pride. I will keep blogging and try and be more personal hopefully no one busts me with an 'I know you!' If anyone does, I'll....*&^%%$$##* ok, I'll just cry. So even if you think you know me, don't say.

My next post is on the L-word...LOVE!!

I think I need to love more and be less of a hater in 2009 (see, everyone is a hater in their own way trust me, I'm not a monster...hehe)

HAPPY NEW YEAR FULL OF GOD'S BLESSINGS!!! May we be blessed according to his will and live our lives to glorify him in every way possible.

xoxo

Abuja Maiden.....ouch!