Saturday, March 28, 2009


One interesting thing about blogville is that commenters always seem to have your back except they sign in as 'anonymous,' they/ we seem to always be nice.

One blog posted on topic A, and the commenters cheered.

The the other blog posted on the flip-opposite topic B, and the commenters cheered.
(Some gave excuses for supporting A though).

Thanks for your comments the last time. But I got thinking why my 'status' should offend anyone. I could have blogged about my academic life, Abuja adventures, career goals, poetry, lifestyle, etc, but I choose 'abstinence' because as a blogspot reader, I couldn't relate to some blogs' content and in order to find a 'place,' I started my blog with a theme.

Having a theme keeps me from posting random posts and stay on track while narrating my experiences and dilemmas.

Through blogging, I have found an anonymous support group, and talk about things that I would talk about in class, church, while hanging out, or on the streets.

Virginity, sex, abstinence, aristos, guys, pervs..all that jazz.

Everyone know the bloggers with 3kids, the one who relocated to Nigeria, newly married guy, born-again, makeup artist, calabar indigene, budding designer, Island dwellers, married-a-virgin, NYSCorper.... Those are their themes.

Are the barren, 'stuck' green hard immigrants, unmarried, bad-at-makeup, not-from-calabar, untalented, Mainland locals, kpanshing-obsessed, underclassmen offended???

Maybe the 'virgin' stuff is in ones face, I'll change it...but Hey, that's my theme!!!! Sorry, all the other bloggers should start saying sorry.

I apologize for my blogdoings.

Should I change my layout or not?

p.s. I'm not angry oh!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Needle in haystack

I reached a breakdown point. I almost cried.

Why should I regret that I have some pride of my own?

Why should being a virgin and choosing to wait-till-marriage be something should be ashamed of?

Why do virgins have bad reputations? negative stereotypes?

What is wrong if I have something that you would never, ever have? It doesn't make you better than me or vice versa.

I though blogging would give me some strength but the reason I started blogging in the first place hasn't been accomplished. I feel worse that when I started. And the worse part is that the people I thought would be encouraging (aka some church goers) seem hypocritical. I thought Christianity was so much more that making noise, spitting verses or attending church. Why do people scream Jesus, speak in tongues, burn Holy spirit fire ('while I'm not') but be the first to brag about their pre-church activities to me?

Sorry, I'm just angry, upset, furious........phewwwwww!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

The ATM Card

ATM= Abstinence Till Marriage. Get it?

I was at a shopping mall when a someonr gave me this card. It looked just like a Debit card.

Credit crunch solution or what??????

The card has the place where you put your signature under an agreement to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Its not really about being a virgin (or not) more of celibacy (100% guard against STDs, HIV-AIDS, Pregnancy, Heartbreak, and for Christians and other religious preaching 'wait till marriage' to live according to God's command-If lying is a big deal, I guess there are 9 other commandments to follow).

I quote the ATM card,

"100% effective way to avoid physical and emotional consequences of premarital sex, ..enhance my future relationships", and

the expiry date- "wedding day"

hehehe....(guess God wasn't trying to punish us but help us when Moses/Musa wrote those laws down.)


I don't need a card to make me stick to my morals. Or it might work like a purity ring if it stays in your wallet.

I checked out the website (above) and found out that its not even a Christian program. Its actually for High-school teenagers but just so you know.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Omo grind for me.

I remember the birth of this dancing style into secondary schools and the drama that came along with it. Wonder if its ever going to fade away partly because in facebook albums younger and younger facebook friends are uploading albums with their J.Los (as my friend says) all the way wherever it it when they are seriously in the grind.

In secondary school, I had a 'friend' who'd gossip all day about who was grinding who, the girl she saw, the guy, blah blah. A friend told me that in her school, one girl took pictures of all the grinders (when grinding was supposedly a bad people thing), printed them and brought them to school the next term= paparazzi shots. Now, its not a big deal but that was 5 years ago.

I watched a comedian (Nigerian) say that back in the day, guys faced the girl to show off their 'baffs' or clothing but now girls (who hardly see/check out the guys clothes), in the wake of feminism, are using their 'feminist' powers to punish guys using grinding skills, and when they go all the way down and back up, CHEI!!! (I'm typing in the comedians tone oh!)

(I mean the guy is the only one enjoying. See, I'll rather the satisfaction be mutual and I don't want no guy grinding on me biko! I'm too feminist joh!)

Watch: (Mr. Lecturer on grinding)

I have really only slow danced with boo, arms around, facing, really close but not any different from if I was slow dancing with any other 'friend' like at senior dance. Even if I'm backing him, its nothing sensual or steamy. I was at a party where everyone stopped dancing to watch this girl (senior year) grind/ hump this poor young man (sophomore). She was really into (early cougar-isms) as in it was soooo intense and 'out of this world' that it was like we were in a cinema (free with chips and soda) and they were the movie (low budget perhaps). She didn't win an Oscar (Akon did in Trinidad) or the guy! She graduated and he found him a freshman girl to date.

Maybe I'm too feminist to be okay 'serving' a guy. That feels like submissiveness (to me) only that there's music playing with disco lights. I don't conform. Somehow I think its classy even though the guy I danced with but didn't grind is thinking I'm Mother Theresa. I either love myself too much or hold my self in extremely high esteem or try to be virtuous and limit the level of man contact.

Another comedian (American) cracked some joke about some chic who was all over him in the club grinding him left right and center. When the party was over, he invited her to 'watch a movie,' actually just to hook up and she started vexing that she's not a whore and all, dude was like "what you were doing in the club sold you out as one" that's why he 'innocently' wanted booty. Guys are funny, I can imagine him asking me for more afterwards. Take about the impression girls send and the way guys interpret.

Did anyone see the viral video of the 4year olds grinding, I felt so bad for the young girl.....

Sorry, spilling my thoughts....tell me what you think. Grinders opinion especially wanted.

So is grinding just fun with everyone, intimate with 'him only', girl-liberating power, or man-serving?

(more grinding posts to come).

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Boys and diets

So while I was in the cafeteria earlier, for lunch, I grabbed three slices of bread and wrapped to 'takeaway' since I had a commitment and planned to miss the next meal. Only for this guy (that I know) to walk up to me and say "thats A LOT of bread!"

Chimooo, see me see trouble. I didn't even call him to strike a conversation he just came up to me to comment about my food. What's his business with the quantity of food I'm eating.

As much as I believe guys give girls extra insecurities and should mind their business when it comes to weight issues, I might not have minded a 'loved one' making that comment out of concern. If I have 2 mould of pounded yam or any starchy Nigerian calorie-filed delight, that might be understandable.

When did 3 slices of wholewheat bread become a lot? I can even tell you the amount of calories in 3 damn slices. Its not even up to 200kcal.

I told him "this is my dinner. Is this even ENOUGH????" Then he replied "No!"

Hardcore "Ara (madness)." I could have just slapped him right there but dang, its not Abuja, I could have gathered agbero boys (thugs) to finish him with insults, they even know that you don't make stupid comments like that and would have helped me handle the situation properly.


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Moaning update

They have transferred elsewhere. I hardly see the girl around talkless of her companion.

Wait, did I get them kicked out of school????

Naaah, but I can now study, sleep and resume reading my devotions without 'sinful' disturbances...he he!