Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. I will return next year, 2009, by God's grace.


Saturday, November 29, 2008


P.s. read the purpose of my blog before bashing me (if you hate this post). Its about me not anyone and doesn't serve the purpose of making you feel like you should jump in a well! Much LOVE and MWUAHS!!!

I always dream of raiding Victoria Secret after getting engaged (still very much for the abstinence until marriage). I go there every now and then but not to 'raid' the place. Walking up to a store assistant and say "I'm an engaged virgin who wants 'bulk-pack of twelve' lingerie for her honeymoon." I can imagine. Loool!!!!! That's kinda wierd.

The story: I went to the mall a while ago and my friend and I passed a sexy underwear section of some store (not VS though).

She said "Oh I wish I had a boyfriend so I'll buy underwear!"

I said "Sorry my boo doesn't even get anything thing." (Boo shouldn't be a motivation for my purchase)

Finally when we got to Victorias' Secret store and

I was like, "I don't need to get anything there now. I can't wait to 'raid' this store when I'm engaged." (Note I said 'raid' oh! As in bulk purchase)

She said "You need to go there BEFORE so you can actually get the engagement."

I said "And what if after spending money, sharing the goodies, I don't get an engagement ring?"
I was quite pissed that her mind was so jaded. She has friends who are single teenage mums, a few with AIDs (like most girls at her high school aren't in college) and others got married as teens. Not to judge her, but I couldn't believe after her experiences, she would be reasoning like that.

So I'm not marriage material until sex comes in? I can't be proposed to with because of personality, intelligence, cooking skills (lol!), hardwork, honesty, being caring, beauty, ...
I watched the latest Two/Three Can Play that game (seen that movie?) and it was interesting but nothing I believed work in reality. Won't talk about the movie just see it for yourself.

Sex= Love (For me, personally, love translates some strong long lasting relationship like marriage) so its your choice right?

I love a little mystery (Maiden's secrets!!!)

So is VS the only way to get hitched? What happens when 'something' happens and you can't rock the VS. (Even 27yr old, Adrianna Lima, Victoria Secrets' model is a virgin and claims to be waiting. )

(re-modified) Of course, I'll buy VS for myself but I meant I'm not very compelled to as fruit-of-the loom and marks&spencer underwear is good enough. My best friend promised me VS for my birthday so I'm waiting for her. Ya get?

So I need y'alls opinion, Is sexy lingerie the only way to get a guy committed to the relationship?

My friend L, I still love you girl but seriously!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Final Update: Break up!

My break up series has come to an end. I think my boyfriend is fabulous!

Example: He was wondering why I wasn't replying his texts while I was like "why isn't he texting me?" Network/ cell phone issues, My phone hasn't gotten/received any international texts and when I send them, they don't get to the recipient. AT&T has really been messing up!

I'm now broke and he's been doing the calling.

He really stepped up his game. Actually he's no longer broke and has been calling me A LOT more often as in I'm full of smiles. We chat (I mean long chat) more than before so I can now study in peace without getting upset over him. Keep reciprocating dude!!!

I'll make a few vows on blogville on what my next actions in the next weeks will be.

I vow to NOT stalk/ check his Facebook page everyday. Instead every few days. Lol!

I vow to TRY not to call him everyday. Alternate calling and texting. I don't want to get too attached to someone far away.

I vow to REDUCE the amount of money I spend on him. I promised MissLove and I shopping therapy so gingers crossed, I'll try to lower the calling cards $$$ from $5-15 to $3-5 (Progress huh?)

I vow to be understanding by being a more matured girlfriend. He's going through a lot so I'll bring more positive energy when I call him. When he's done, I'll pump him with my problems.

I will work on my temper. See a shrink maybe. I have the tendency to overreact, breakdown and cry or something depressing like that when something trivial happens.


AND PRAY. Prayer is the key right? God, please help me get myself together!

Hopefully this hould be the last of my current rantings on my relationship.


Friday, November 14, 2008

Update 2: Breakup!

Second update from previous posts:
So we finally got to chat for an hour; the cheapest conversation I've had with him in weeks. Its easier for me to call him because I get to work and earn a few extra $$$ and My phone card plans are cheaper than his (did I ever tell y'all he's in 9ja?) Makes sense where the problems come from now huh?

I became the culprit. The bad one! He said I had been self centered and only thought of what I wanted and needed when I called him without caring if I hurt him or not. At least I was the one calling him. He apologised but I don't know if he'll change.

I'm scared of letting him know when I'm hurt now.

He is going through personal family issues (like serious ones I need to be there for him or be understaning. If i screw up once he'll never forgive me type of issues). He wants me to be understanding but for HOW long? I'm not 24yrs for goodness sake. I try but it doesn't mean I don't need him sometimes.

All I want communication that's all. He can't give as much as I want. I can afford the phone call-text relationship but, I ain't his sugamama. What do y'all think? I hate making efforts that are not reciprocated. I try not to call him unless he calls me but he doesn't do it frequently.

But of course I miss him and end up calling. $5-$15 a week on just him. If we break up, he better pay the debit card damages.

He is in a 'serious' relationship and I'm beginning to act like him taking us so seriously and he's slacking now so I look like the clingy one when earlier he couldn't do without talking to me multiple times a day. He made me get used to something and couldn't keep up.

Time heals but I hate the fact that it comes with tears. If I didn't like him anymore, it'll be so easy. If I only were more mature?

But maybe this wahala is me not him. Or him not me!


Sunday, November 9, 2008

Update: Break up!

So I called him.

He didn't think anything went wrong. He had switched off his phone because someone had been disturbing him with text messages I thought he was angry I hung up but he was dead sleepy (it was like 12am). He was also online for five minutes to 'get' something (hmmm) thats why he changed his facebook profile but didn't see the need to call me and chat 'cause he had to be home. I still wish he called me to say he couldn't make it (even though he only told me he'll call me if he could).

Imagine? I'm either crazy overeacting or something. After I cried like a pro-mourner. Lol!

I'll work on fixing my tendency to misinterpret things and jump straight into frustration.

Our conversation was fun (like I didn't call him with a purpose) but I made sure I told him why I called. It wasn't as deep as I wanted it to be but it helped a bit. Miscommunication is a beeyatch.

Boo has been going through a lot of stuff he doesn't really want to tell me about. I know a few, (family issues and more) but he promises that with time, I'll understand why it seems like he's not making an effort. He asked for time oh!

I told him I hated feeling like the clingy one since I called him more than he called me. He said he didn't think I was clingy but still sha, though I'm a feminist, I believe he wears the pants and I the skirt so.....

@Yankee Naija Babe, I'll forward your tips on long distance dating to him maybe in some weeks time.

I forgot to add that he didn't say sorry. He didn't think he did anything wrong but I text him to say I wish he said he didn't want to hurt me intentionally (he always apologizes but still,...)

After I text him (which I just did), I'll call him to wish him a great week. Then, I'll pretend I have more homework and term papers to keep my mind off him.

Conclusion: I'll call him less. It's even not economic to be calling every second since we're not engaged or married. I even work and extra job to fund my paycards (not my parents money. Lol!) but I could use that money for some retail therapy so I'll cut down on my effort so he'll step up.

I pray he gets over all the issues soon. I want my boo back!

Long distance relationships are crazy huh? Still good and bad to it but Thank God for his mercies.


P.s. we didn't break up. Its just circumstances but were are working on fixing them and we're young so I'm trying to be optimistic now but I'm not really. :)

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Breaking up!

I told y'all I always feel like breaking up with boo even though we seem perfect its 6 days a week of being wonderful and that one day. My old posts on him:

I'll tell him to call me when he's online so we can chat being cheaper than calling since we love to talk for hours. He'll be online and not call. Then I see he's even changed his facebook profile.
Or he won't call when he can't make it. I just sign out and do my school work and pretend like it never happened. Or I'll ask him about it and honestly, I can't remember any of his responses.

Or he'll remember he had to go to church or see someone or run an errand for his mum. I really trust him. At least he begs me to and I try.

It's like standing up someone, not showing up to a date, hanging up the phone on someone you say you care about.

He has been doing this since the first time we were together, when we broke up and now we're back together. I left him the first time because of this. We made up months after with him promising it will be different this time.

I know he cares about me but why would he keep doing something he knows I hate and upsets me very much. I hung up on him now but when I tried calling either his battery died and he fell asleep or he switched off. Even if I did something wrong by hanging up, he hurt me and I never hurt him. If I was a guy, I promise you, I will be to-die-for because I really try for boo.

He always says he'll never hurt me, never wants to hurt me and is scared of hurting me. (Did i just make sense?)

My eyes are red and sore, I'm crying and I HATE this. I really wish I didn't like any one its annoying. If I leave him, I'll feel even worse (been there done that) because the moment he claims he's changed I'll go back to him.

We'll probably make up and next week I'll be posting about how awesome our relationship is (I already did a post on Love! Lol!).. I don't know.

Maybe I'm overreacting. There's a lot of good to this guy but THIS is what ticks me off.

I'm currently still trying to call him but its not going through and its 1am in his time zone. My eyes are still sore. I'm gonna eat pizza now, then ice-cream. If I drank, I would have been gone by now.

I want to like text break up or send a miserable message but I don't want him to react the wrong way.

What should I do?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Pink Sisterhood

Breast Cancer Awareness.

I was tagged!

Check out Yankee Naija Babe's Career Driven Woman for more information, myths and misconceptions about breast cancer:

Okay, back to the tag and the rules.***start copy***

1. Put the logo in your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who shared it with you.

3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs

4. Add your link to the list of participants below5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

I nominate:





Twix abi Sweet-

Miz Cynic-

October was Cancer Awareness month but spread the word on and educate yourself.


Sunday, October 26, 2008


This is just like wearing a commitment, promise/purity or wedding ring. Only, its PERMANENT! It's not exactly PDA (public display of affection) but why do people go the whole length to tattoo each other on each other. Its cute when the relationship is alive but when it Kpemes/ fails, errrr, uncool!

When is so OUT THERE, and everyone asks you questions, you answer is plain PDA. Like putting pictures of couples in love on facebook when no one really needs to know. I'm not criticizing tattoos but sometimes being discreet about things as sensitive as relationships is the best thing.

Its like staying in a marriage because the ring cost six or seven digits. But you can resell the ring right? and make money but taking the tattoo off is expensive. Unless you're Angelina Jolie of course.

I know this girl who is/was dating this dude. Their pictures of facebook eh? As in cute couple-in-love. Love nwa-ti-ti, ifunanya. Just like my last post. Only for me to run across a photo with a BOLD tattoo on his arm with the girl's name. Not Mariah Carey's tiny 'Mrs Cannon' one but big but not as big as Nick Cannon's back the 'Mariah one or whatever it is, google it.'

Every comment was like 'cute,' 'awwww,' 'im jealous,' 'hawt' Oh facebook comments are a case, including mine

Lately, she's been partying hard courtesy of facebook, I know her routine. Lol! Stalker! Point is I never saw him in any the newest photos. Curious, I checked only to see 'SINGLE' on her profile status.

I wonder how much he paid to get the tattoo laser-ed off? If I were him I'll makeup until I find money. Lol!

The guy papa get moni so e be like say he fit move on jejely.

My amebo ways!

Will you tattoo ur boyfriend, girl friend, husband or wife's name or initials on your skin?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

My boo...PDA

I miss him. We're not in the same town so there's a little bit of long distance relationship going on.

I'm constantly thinking of everyplace he's taken me, every time he's held me, everywhere he's kissed me, every awkward PDA moments we've had. The affordable long phone conversations.

I miss having a normal relationship but since when I was drawing a plan for my life right before Uni, a boyfriend wasn't included (but shit happened!), I'll embrace my 'in a relationship' facebook stats and make it work!

One third of the time, I thank God for the distance because at least the physical temptation part is reduced since we're not doing anything. And being in school we can focus on priorities. Will graduate soon by God's grace so till then...

Anyway, I hate walking alone down the street, in a park, at restaurant, cinema, even CHURCH and seeing those PDA (public display of affection) folks flirting, hugging, pecking, whispering all over the place. Especially the late-teens/ early twenties kinds (my age group of course). Am I supposed to jump off a cliff because I don't have a boo? At least I do but seriously I might start screaming at those folks-in-love "EH HEH!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TOO HE'S JUST NOT AROUND!!!!"

In 9ja, some holidays ago we were together was all lovey-dovey touch, kiss, hug me(again i repeat its just PG rated). Lol! Then he carried me like those newly weds and was kissing me. First we noticed a lawn mower guy near by so he turned away to avoid being 'spotted' and the gist reaching 'gossip girl',Pheww, then some older men were approaching. He kukuma dropped me and session was over. Lol! I don't like sending a PDA impression.

Another time some couple was in the PDA vibe (me and boo were jejely just talking on a bench) when an older 'father' figure went and started blasting them with insults and told the girl were to sit rather than stand in front of the guy with his arms around her. Lol! I just burst out laughing.

As per, my long distance loneliness, What make this worse for me is facebook! Someone did a post on the pressure of getting married since every now and then one of her friends was either engaged or getting married via Facebook's stalker vehicle.

Since my own level is that of flings and relationships of university kids it the PICTURES that bother me. The pressure to be with someone just to add a album with is ON. As in who will sit and take pictures of you and you boo/boo-ess kissing, spooning, intensely grinding (show of affection? huh?) and WHY are you putting it on facebook? This specie of PDA is not coincidental because an effort was made to actually upload on facebook for 'all friends' to view and comment of course. Why can't the pics be your laptop or cellphone wallpaper or screen saver?

The worse is when they breakup and are too ashamed to take off the pictures. Imagine I went through this girl's facebook and there were like 50 pictures of her and her ex. FIFTY??? Now they are not together how will she start deleting 50 tagged pictures? And the boy can't delete the 'My girl' album he created with her as the subject of the photo shoot.

I actually like seeing that people are happy but when the relationship is not secured, wait before you bombard us with pictures then break up after we've finished drooling, praying and fasting for a boyfriend just to add a facebook album called "Mi amor" or something random like that.

Shit happens so I'm not faulting anyone. (Seriously!)

I'll probably be uploading photos of me and boo when we hit a funky anniversary and I know it's serious enough to share with the world and it won't be an album or 50pictures maybe 5. Lol!

Which is worse street/road side PDA or Facebook 'young folks dating' PDA?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The darker the berry

..the sweeter the juice.

I once worked in this place where I was the darkest-complexioned one around. My boss had this young guy cousin of hers who came around a lot and one day she sent me on an errand- assisting him during after-hours. Somehow, I was charming in the way I went about everything and he could see that I was a bit charismatic when I related with folks especially my older colleagues. He asked for my number and I hesitated saying I didn't give folks my number. His reply "there's always a first time."

I was dealing with a breakup that was in words but not actions especially since my ex and I talked almost everyday and even went on a date. (story for another day)

Imagine him thinking he could launch me. First time keh?. Lol! I had a little crush-attraction thing going on. he was quiet, quite classy and was Hausa. I have a weakness for quiet Northern boys. Lol! If I popped there was no stopping on this one.

Then I got a message in the evening "the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice, the darker the skin, the deeper the roots...then some African ski gist blah blah...guess who?"

I was 18. Whether I was flattered/melted or not I can't remember but I didn't reply the text. I knew if I did, I'll probably get hooked with back and forth messages (which by the way is my addiction of some sort..chatting).

The next day, in the course of work, I found out that he was the one who sent the message.

Since he seemed like a nice guy, I was attracted, and he was someone I would spend hours on the phone with, 'warning' alarms where all over my head.

He called later that day but I missed the call. I didn't call back. I so badly wanted to get to know this guy but my heart was still with my ex. I wanted to but didn't have the nerve to move-on. I was scared of jumping into something new because I didn't see this guy as a friend but as fling-material. And the religion factor, I'm all for long-term relationships not flings so him being a Muslim (and the drama that occurs with mixed-religious relationships), I didn't know how further on that would play if we actually worked out.

Every situation like this where guy meets me, we exchange numbers with the aim of being 'friends', chat and talk everyday, guy falls for me, I might have a crush on him but nothing more then I cut off the communication and become the bitch while he claims to be heartbroken.

In this instance, I was probably going to be the one to be bitched. Nemesis!!

I was just thinking ahead oh! What if he just wanted to add me to his list of Abuja girls? Or honestly just be friends? Or shag? Think of every 18 yr old with deep suspicion for every guy she comes across. I'm an emotional wreck so I think like CRAZY before leaping or 'popping.'

I sent him a text almost two weeks after, thanked him for complimenting my skin tone, asked who it was (like I didn't know) and apologized for not replying. I didn't get a reply (somehow I thanked God he wasn't serious about me and I wasn't breaking a heart.) Then I saw him when he came to see my boss. We said hi to each other and both pretended like we had never met or had a teeny-weeny attempted fling!

Why do I still remember him? I dunno!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sexy Virgins 3: Jonas Brothers

After the last VMA's host Russell Brand criticism of Jonas Brothers' wearing purity rings. I had a reason to like those boys. I haven't really listened to their music yet.

To Russell Brand, an avowed "sex addict", this is baffling. "They can have sex with any woman they want but they choose not to," he marvelled on stage. "That's like Superman deciding not to fly and to go everywhere by bus."

Its folks like this idiot that cause heartbreak for us ladies. Imagine using his status to shag handful of 'our fairer sex?' Mumu man! Screams TUFACE to me (Sorry to his baby mamas; Its the Russell syndrome).

Fortunately, his hosting was the WORST ever of VMA history so who's wright and wrong now?

The Jo-bros reacted with the comment rings are "a promise to ourselves and to God that we'll stay pure 'till marriage," and "it's [purity rings] pretty awesome, and the rings are just one of our ways of kind of like being different than everybody else out there."

Jordin Sparks supported them with her comment "I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" she told the audience.
The crowd cheered after.

Sales of Promise rings went up! Lol! Imma be getting mine pretty soon. (A post on that to come soon).

They are also Evangelical Christians (Pastor's children..hmm!) and abstain from tobacco, alcohol and drugs. Now all round perfection....Kinda! Don't need any pot-high, smoky-breath, drunk-ass puking BF. Gimme some Jonas please!!!

They are 21, 18 and 16.

Read more:

Thoughts anyone?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Sexy Virgin 2: Julianne Hough

If you haven't heard of her, now you do. She's a professional ballroomdancer (popular as a defending Dancing with the Stars' champion) and just released a top chatting album making her a musician. ABC Julianne is the spokeperson for Wrigley's Juicyfruit chewing gum along side Chris Brown if you've seen the ad with a blonde girl similar to Chris' advert, then this is she.

I first heard about her on E! then started watching Dancing with the Stars and seeing her a lot more on TV...blah blah. Point is, she is still a virgin and is waiting till marriage (also refrains from drugs and alcohol). She was raised Mormon hence a religious reason for her decision but its cool to know another hawt person whose is waiting.

"I'm not trying to preach consequences here," Julianne adds, "but I think when you say no, down the line, it will be a better decision."

She's 20 years.

Virgin from Abuja.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Sexy Virgins: Adrianna Lima

Adrianna Lima, a Brazilian Victoria's Secret angel/ model.

She's a well known virgin waiting till marriage. She is a devoted Catholic and attends Church every sunday and even said to read her bible backstage during modeling jobs. She's only 27 y'all!!!!

Lima says, "They [men] have to respect that this is my choice. If there's no respect, that means they don't want me."

She's too hot, I'm scared of looking at her on the runway, in a commercial or magazine spread. She one of those people guys and ladies alike drool over. She's been on 'hottest' and 'most desireable' girls rankings in Maxim, and Spike TV Guy's choice. DUH!

Imma be buying VS underwear just to look like her and for my wedding ephizzy as well. LOL!

So I'm not the only one waiting till marriage so it feels good. So, maybe I should consider modeling for VS. Nah!

Courtesy: Hollywood gisters, Naijasutra's blog, Wikipedia. Or Google her!

Guys, pics might be too hot for you Just warning ahead! Lol!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The first kiss and ex.

Hmm, 16 years. I wasn't quite happy. Thats a lie, but at least I knew what it felt like.

Met him at one of those holiday lesson kinda place.Had a crush on the guy or kinda liked him. We talked almost everyday and he called me "his girl" but the dude never asked me out aka no commitment, He was going to university in the States the next week and begged that we see. By the way, our 6 month relationship was purely cellphone based. Not because of my curfews but because I was kinda suspicious along the way.

So close to the time he was leaving, I tried to just quit any investing of puppy emotions for him but it was hard. He came to visit me in a place I hung out and we talked for a bit after not seeing each other for a while. I had to rush back home and then, just like that it happened. He pulled me close and planted his small lips on mine. I pushed him lightly and he wanted to go on since he wouldn't see me again (so American highschool summer fling-ish...not in Abuja dearie!). I don't know why I let him for 3 more seconds pushed him and ran down the stairs to leave the building. he sent me a text saying "F*&$ Ur beautiful and when we kissed, i swear....blah blah."

The next time I saw him, I promise you devil na winch, I let him kiss me again and then he entered full makeout mode with his hands tryna go the wrong direction and I really pushed him with a "don't touch my assets!" reaction. I sent him a text later that he wasn't what I thought he was a and he's reaction "don't people that like eachother makeout?" My qualms was that he called me his girl but never asked me out officially and was gonna leave Nigeria in a week so GOODY goody or not no Makeouts from any 16yr old girl who supposedly hates boys.

I felt raped. Considering where i stood on morals and standards, I never planned this would ever happen to me. I thought it was for silly girls only so I cried, was restless and felt used and abused. Now, i thank God he opened my eyes and i can't say I regret the experience.

After he left 9ja, he called my like once in 3months. I just fashed him until one day we were chatting online and he starts telling me he really liked me and didn't see any girls and accused me of thinking that he wanted to sleep with me. Then he told me he never wanted to have anthing to do with me. Hiss!! Jerk-mode! Thats By the way. (More gist on this guy!)

A FEW YEARS AFTER, I'm over the whole fling-situation and have a respectful boo.

Once you pop you can't stop. Now, I'm way too comfortable snogging my babe though I always try to remain within the proper limits.

Citing this example, Lord, please lemme abstain till marriage! No popping for me!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Virgin from Abuja

So, I decided the word virgin sparks too much I dunno and decided to stick with maiden which I found on as well as words like celibate, damsel, undefiled, intact, unexplored and pristine. Wow! I was starting to believe it was a bad thing. Well it shouldn't be a big deal as in seriously. I read Thisday Style a while ago and a letter was sent in from someone called Virgin Nigeria. Apparently there aren't too many left considering our very holier than thou attitudes when it come to issues like... you know all the issues where hypocrisy is the norm.

Damn! I sound serious but I just wanna write a fun blog about living the life first for religious reasons. I call my self a person of a certain religion (Christianity) then I better live the life if not its kinda pointless. Second, I have an issue with guys as in I can't think of why "I should give body-body" cuz na "soji-soji" will happen. LOl @ psquares song!

But unless you're absolutely worth it which means u carry the same status as me: UNEXPLORED!! and THE RING TOO! Meaning I won't date or get seriously emotional with someone who is not on the same page as me.

Welcome to my blog. Another experiment to release whats lurking in my head and heart. Too many times I find it hard to relate to issues in some blogs not because I'm a (i forgot the word) but appreciate and love my choices and won't change them to fit in with society so anyone in my shoes can relate to this blog. I hope you read on my experiences.

The young virgin from Abuja.