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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Needle in haystack

I reached a breakdown point. I almost cried.

Why should I regret that I have some pride of my own?

Why should being a virgin and choosing to wait-till-marriage be something should be ashamed of?

Why do virgins have bad reputations? negative stereotypes?

What is wrong if I have something that you would never, ever have? It doesn't make you better than me or vice versa.

I though blogging would give me some strength but the reason I started blogging in the first place hasn't been accomplished. I feel worse that when I started. And the worse part is that the people I thought would be encouraging (aka some church goers) seem hypocritical. I thought Christianity was so much more that making noise, spitting verses or attending church. Why do people scream Jesus, speak in tongues, burn Holy spirit fire ('while I'm not') but be the first to brag about their pre-church activities to me?



Sorry, I'm just angry, upset, furious........phewwwwww!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

36 comments:

RocNaija said...

Aww sorry babes... Just try and stay strong.. In life there will always be people and obstacles to a persons dream.
The hard part is avoiding all the drama and keep pushing on..
You've done the hardest part already..
Where you're going is closer than where you're coming from!
All the best babes!

Funms-the rebirth said...

sweetheart, im so sorry u feel this way...... your life is about u and u only. dont let people make u think otherwise. Being a virgin should be a thing to be very proud of. i wish i still were.......
dont be angry dear.......take a deep breath

dbthinks said...

Hey....the reputations that virgins have should not be something to be ashamed of. On the contrary it shows a much higher level of self control than the average population.. You've held out for so long, just keep doing it... Trust me, either they're jealous, or they are thinking from the wrong premise...

Even the best of Christians are still humans - they (i'll not include myself in the best of Christian's part) still say stuff out of turn, still have issues and all what not... Never allow what people say define your life, you had a reason for starting your jouney of virginity and blogging, don't allow yourelf to be sidetracked...

Cappuccine Baby said...

Aww, sorry my dear, the best thing to do is to just ignore them, you are who you are abi? If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of in the same situation, hehehehehe :D

Take care!

xxx

Olufunke said...

Take it easy!
And like DB says...the best of Christains are stil men.

all the best dear!

simeone said...

sowwiieee maiden..as much as we hav to relate with people..we must also learn to ignore..when all they do is put us down...
just keep walking..cheers

blogoratti said...

People would say stuff about you all the time-it's a never ending stereotyping highway! The good thing is you can choose not to listen to them!!
Hang in there.

~Sirius~ said...

SweetHeart, I will KILL to be in your shoes!
One HUGE mistake you are making is LISTENING to them!

You dont need anybody's consent to feel good. Girl you are good all by your self.
Another thing is, God didn't say you should base anything on the church goer's- everything should be based on the WORD.

ROCK being a Virgin Oh!
Because once it's gone, it's gone!

PS: They silently envy you....DONT MIND THEM.............*hiss

Scarlet said...

Sorry dear, don't let it get to you.
People will always talk about others, dats just one of the facts of life....wedda good things or bad things they are still gonna be running their mouth, even christians.

But u know wat? dats there problem not yours, so get on wit your life and keep doing you.
in my humble opinion i think jelousy had a huge part in all this.

doll said...

hey..dont let pressures get to u

Adaeze said...

aww. Sorry hun! I know what its like. Dont let it get to you. Be YOU no matter what anyone says. The people that love you for you regardless is your true friends and family, anyone else U dont need. There will always be haters. Theres always a reason behind it. Often jealousy ;-)

Mocha said...

You are uniquely and wonderfully and beautifully made.
No one can or should convince you otherwise.
You have made a decision to live your life in a certain way..an exemplary way..never feel bad about THAT..
You'll push thru this and be better for it.
Keep your head up honey xx

Gee said...

awwww...we are here ooo...to encourage u my dear.dont feel that way biko!
Virgins rock..u kno it, I know it and u know they know it!
the lord is ur strength and we(ok I) are ur blog frends here to encourage u..b strong..atleast for us here on blogsville!
smile..Jesus loves u!!

O'Dee said...

Sorry deariee.

You have to be strong & not let anyone make you feel bad or put you down.

Its really say that, "church pple" are not helping matters.

I'm proud of you though.

justdoyin said...

Abuja Maiden...let me start by saying that even at their very best, human beings are still just that...human...whether xtian or not...so, don't be upset by the few bad eggs in the crate.
As 4 virgin stereotypes...I get ur drift gurl...I married as a virgin, and I can tell u, it's a prize to be proud (not ashamed) of...bask in it!

Beyond said...

It is well sis, in life we are bound to meet ppl that don't seem to agree with our principles... but that is not enough reasons to back down n join the crowd....
keep holding on the lord is your strenght.....

you are unique in your own way... n whether you believe it or not...most ppl wish they could do what u are doing.....so don't let what he/she say define you or the way you choose to live....

if it makes you feel any better, you are not alone...

bob-ij said...

Sorry babe!...It's so sad about the church-goers bit!....I cringe when I hear those stories...even from friends...it's like NO you should not!..

Be encouraged though cuz the rest of blogville is here for you..at least I am...

I'm still in your boat, for now...Press on babe!

x!

aloted said...

my dear..u are walking the narrow path so a lot of people cant identify with that and might say stuff to mock u and put u down...pls dont let them get to u..u r not doing it for them....

this is between u, God and ur hubby to be..

be strong!

Buttercup said...

take a deep breath hon..

u've got the most valuable gift a woman cud ever ask for..isnt that worth being hated upon???

just ignore them!!!!!!!!!

Deedo said...

my assumption is that you are not really proud of your "pride". As a virgin, I was very proud of it and even though I dated my husband for about 4yrs, we didn't have sex till our wedding night. I just wanted to have a legacy to pass on to my girls. I don't think you should be affected by what others think anyway.

F u n m i said...

distance yourself from those people. I didn't know in Nigeria they look down upon virgins.

Gourmet Truffle said...

This is some serious stuff! I hope I find respite and comfort blogging.

doug said...

I'm not going to say things in the line of distancing yourself from people. That istn going to solve the problem. The world has an overabundance of simpletons. You'll find enough of them whereve you go. The point is for you to stand for something and stick to it. Form your resolve and stop bothering yourself about what some else says/thinks about it.

soul sister said...

sorry...please don't be angry...this is just one of those situations that test your strength and commitment...so just stay strong...!

Brown Sugar said...

I've been in your same situtation. All I can say is to stay strong. I'm still a virgin and I'm going to be a virgin until after I say my vows in the house of God. There should be no shame in it. Yes people will talk, but thats all they can do. I don't believe in sharing my body with every Tom, dick, and harry that I've ever met in my life. If that was the case then the act itself would lose its sacred meaning. By the time you get to your one true soulmate, you'll feel like damaged goods. So don't worry dear. We are VIRGINS united!!

BSNC said...

eyaaa please take it easy. don't worry you ll be okay. just keep your head up. everything will work out for the best eventually..

AnyaPosh said...

awwww sweetie, it's the harsh harsh reality of life in the "real" world. I'm a christian too but I see many christians who put up a front in church to be caught with the next aristo in Sheraton/chicken republic on a good saturday night. Then they'll come to church and praise Jesus.

I'm not a perfect person. I don't do aristo/bigz girls runs or any of that nonsense. But I have a boyfriend & sometimes we yield to temptation. So if that makes me a hypocrite, then yes I am. But I don't preach that anyone do as I do...but as I say. I think back on my virginity & sometimes it seems like a blur. So I say, if this is a choice YOU have decided to make in keeping yourself till marriage, then my dear you don't have to justify that choice to anyone else but yourself. Do you.
Be accountable to only yourself and forget about the masses.

Lolia said...

Awwwwwww darling...don't mind them jo...Even though I completely understand because I've feel that way a lot...Like people are attacking me for being a virgin and so it feels like you're doing the wrong thing or like you shouldn't be proud of it when it's the complete opposite...Anyway all that matters is that you know what you're doing and why. Do you. And let them do them okay?
*hugs*
xxx

miz-cynic said...

honestly,mayb u too shdnt be so in your face...dats the first thing one sees wen opening ur blog, it might be offensive or too much to handle for some peeps who are jealous...take it from a virgin a 29 yr old one with a younger sis who lost hers at 20 with this virginity thing...makes it sound like u are looking down on peeps and feeling self righteous...just my 2 cents.

Chari said...

uhmm....I aint no virgin any more...but seriously now having and knowing buttercup gosh I wish to death I had waited much longer for her...cuz mehn waiting for her woulda been worth it...

Chari said...

P.S.: I have learnt a long time ago, its better to never put your money on church people...wrong move...I believe the bible verse is..."looking UP, to Jesus; the author and finisher of our faith"

aloted said...

@miz-cynic: sorry to butt in, i see where you are coming from but i think Abuja Maiden has stated what this blog is about. Some people's blog theme is about their "sexapades" and what not- we laff and cheer them on...it doesnt appear offensive. This to me is a shame.

But here's someone who is sharing her struggles with staying a virgin and i think she's justified and not in anyone's face. And if anyone is offended by it they shouldn't blame Abuja maiden but deal with their own issues. I havent seen anywhere in this blog where she makes it appear that if you are not a virgin you are doomed for life. So the issue of being self-righteous, not sure where that is coming from.

Also just my two kobo.

juiceegal said...

Dnt wori bout d whole issue
pple wld always tlk no matter wot.
trust me if u strt hvin sex 2mrw,u wld stil have critics
so babez live ur life nd dnt let ppe's opinions bother u k...

Cidersweet said...

Yah, some christians dont help matters at all. Even Jesus had a hard time with some of the religious folks.
The good thing is that you will strive to be non-judgemental.You will set an example for other christians. I say, 0 points for Evil, 1 for good.
Cheers!
Your honesty is cool.

Femi B said...

you know what go for a physical at any hospital and tell them you are a 20 something year old virgin, you'll gain all confidence and honor back cos they'd be cheering like you just won 9 gold medals at the just completed Olympic games.

Daddy's Girl said...

Stay strong girl, and don't let anyone put you down.