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Monday, February 2, 2009

Case of the ex-

Now my 'ex' and I have patched things up since we've grown up and are less naive.

I was chatting with him via facebook and we sounded like close buddies, like nothing 'evil' ever happened (lolia!), like I was never hurt by him.

We talked about food, Nigeria, his family, his internships, the future, graduate schools, youth service, and entering the job market in this 'wahala' economy.

He's smart. Very smart and ambitious! I can imagine my Cashmere Mafia self doing business with him in the future. Chimoo!

He was my first kiss! But then when he tried to make out with me (at my very naive phase in life), asked me to come to his house instead of hanging out 'elsewhere' and I refused because I wasn't comfortable since we weren't official and he was heading to college abroad. He called me 'weird.' I felt emotional torture and minor assault. If a guy goes beyond his boundaries even if its not sex, it hurts.
He didn't even think he did anything wrong guess that's why its hard for some guys to be respectful.

He emailed me after 2 weeks of being in the US then called after 2months. I was getting over him FAST! Then I started ignoring him. He'd email me, then email, and email, ask for pictures, then ask, and ask again. I ignored/ avoided checking my email till He was begging.
It was hard to forgive someone who could have taken advantage of you innocently. What if?

I randomly called him for like 2mins (or call and hang up when he picked). He claimed he was broke and couldn't call and then while chatting via yahoo IM, we got into an argument. He was accusing me of thinking he was trying to sleep with me when he was angry I refused to makeout with him being that we 'liked' each other (at age 16). Then he said "I never want to have anything to do with you." the he signed out GBOSA!!!!! I re-read the whole conversation and archived it. It's still saved on the PC.

I took a vacation, shopped, and got over him. He emailed me few months after to apologise and tell me he thought about me a lot. He then started calling after making some internship money. By then, I was a year older and my current boo and I after being friends for a while started 'talking.'

When I was in first year of uni in America, he apologised for being immature, that he missed me, and wanted me back. He was ready to fly to my school/ pay my ticket to fly to his city (I was in the same country as him now!) I told him that I was with boo (some months into us).

He was hurt but after what he did to me emotionally, I didn't feel remorse. I was hurt for months and finally happy that I learnt a lesson and moved on.

That was a WHILE ago and we don't talk ever maybe 'Happy Birthday' courtesy of facebook reminders but some notification on my facebook profile caught him and he buzzed me and gist started.

I decided to go through all his emails and I realize he wasn't too bad a guy. I wish the bad 'memories' never happened but that's what immaturity does to you. I found a letter I wrote to him. Thank God I never sent it to him. It was in the pocket of the jeans I wore the day i started dating boo. The note has spent 3years in and out of the washer in the same jean pocket....hehehe we children of nowadays!

What if? I think of all the possibilities....its so hard I'm having one of those 'moments' but I'll be fine that's why we grow up huh? Thank God for his mercies.

Welcome to February!!!!!

17 comments:

miz-cynic said...

PLS LET THER PAST stay in the past. he had his chance, he blew it....end of story

aloted said...

yes he is so so in the past...and you don't need the pressure.

the future has a lot more good in it!

Writefreak said...

I'm glad you stood your ground when you did!

He;s in your past and the future looks very very bright!

~Sirius~ said...

Ex- I guess that's why it's called that...no WHAT IFs!.......LOL

Kai woman, a note in your pocket for 3yrs!!!!!

Teeee said...

You've got something more precious on your hands now so he's good in the past

Harry-Rami Itie said...

I really love dis... It's so real...Gosh!...I'mma stay posted..YOU ROCK!!!

Olufunke said...

Thank God for you.
and I agree with everyone
the 'ex' is in the past, and good you have been able to see...he was not really a bad guy( at least that is one good thing from your memories of the past)

but your concerns now is your present relationship
All the best dear!

Funms-the rebirth said...

stay friends and nothing else o....... he's an ex.. ur happy now, let him stay where he is.... no use relieving memories

Danny Bagucci said...

Guess exes are typically always bad news from what I've heard... lol.. Best to keep the dude in the "never ever" zone -- else the memories will keep coming back...

zara (my alter ego) said...

wow!
i guess innocence doest hve its down sides and upsides... but anyways.. its all good now that ure friends again and he knows nothing for him.

Lolia said...

I get you...at the same time sometimes we have to push the 'what ifs' to the back of our minds and start thinking about the very very bright future ahead of us ^_^
It's hard...which sucks but it can be done...
Happy New Month dear!

simeone said...

yeah..we just take the lessons from the experinces and let them go ..hard as it may seem...
i guess its just a normal phase..

FFF said...

u have a letter in ur jeans pocket 4 3 years!!!!!!!! u dey try oh. me, i destroy every 'evidence' once dat love don die. i don't like to keep reminders.

Rose said...

Good to know you've moved on from him,somebody else can have him if they please.Look ahead,and channel your energy into you and boo,and keep doing you babe.mwah!!

Buttercup said...

its so annoying when exes just resurface out of the blue!

Favoured Girl said...

Good for you girl, that you stood your ground and didn't let him push you beyond your boundaries way back then. Like everyone has said, he's in the past now, you have moved on, so keep him there.

Hope you are doing great.

doll said...

hey babes. leave the past in the past